The idea of the nature of something. Everything has a nature. When we look at a thing ( person, experience, idea ) - we rarely see the nature of It, because our perception is shaded by our personal lens' of wounds, opinions, state of being.
From a sharing of mine recently, a beloved mentioned my bumpy road, in a sad manner, and wished me well...and I had to go back and reread what they had read. And it was in this experience I heard this: The nature of the road is that it is bumpy. Do not make the bumps wrong. ....and brilliance sparkled! I was awake at one AM basking in this truth - smiling and blissing while contemplating and writing about this from my cozy sheets.
So much awareness opened as I watched a movie play out of how this truth reigns in our lives. Do not make the bumps wrong - we do this well enough when we are learning something new, a class perhaps, we can be patient, knowing we are not yet supposed to know. The bumps are the not knowing. We do not make it wrong that we do not yet know.
And then we are in every day life, and as we traverse the bumpy plane we can become so disillusioned, disappointed and make things so WRONG - which are just the nature of the road. And from our fear labels the word wrong pops up, and an entirely new emotional bag of tools surfaces. We start blaming, finding ways we are right or find ways to bury our self esteem even more, or the #1 choice; make another person wrong.
The bumps are not wrong, they just are. Life has bumps, all kinds. It's okay. Observe them. See them. Oh, you're a bump. Oh, you are in my way. Let's see, is there another path I can choose?
The nature of fire is hot. We do not make it wrong, do we? Can we blame the fire if we put our finger in it and it burns?
If someone comes at us with anger, it will not feel good. The nature of anger is hot and sharp.
Disgareeing is the nature of being human - it does not have to mean fighting, or making wrong, or finding fault. It simply is the nature of being human and having two individual lives coming together at one moment - there may be two different opinions.
When we share our road with another person, they see it through their own lens and that is the individual makeup of their personality, which is a concoction of wounds, beliefs, ideas and thoughts. Given that, it is all too precious when someone DOES agree with us!
The road of spiritual awakening is not pretty and often messy. The end moment is mighty fine, but it could be aligned with making love.....the experience leading up to the reason we chose to do it can be hot, sweaty, exhausting and messy; but the end result makes it worth it; to many.
The nature of the road of raising children is that there are many bumps. Daily living with little ones, which if we make wrong can be utterly unnerving and cause women everywhere to retaliate in thinking they have failed, are not doing enough and one of the undeniably most sad things I hear; I want a real job, this is not enough, I am not enough, I need to to do more.
The children are not wrong. The children, the experiences, the moments; they simply are. They are part of the road you chose. Given that raising another human being, being one of the guides for a souls journey in this incarnation - well, there is no more important job in the entire world, than to raise conscious adults to move into the next phase of our earths existence with more awareness than the prior group did.
As our children mature and grow into the next phase of thier paths, we may ask something of them they do not agree with. The nature of thier respone is they will not like it. It is the nature of coming into ones own skin - to not like anyone telling us how to do something. If you expect it to be easy, you are not respecting the nature of the road.
The nature of divorce and the severing of cords in the ending or letting go of any relationship is going to be challenging. That is the nature of the experience. Yet, if one comes at an experience without expectations and with love, it can ease the path and grace it with softness rather than sharpness.
The nature of the path of anything new is usually bumpy. Ok.
But what are the bumps made of? Opportunities.
And why do they hurt so much? Because we fight them so darn much. Because we label them wrong. Because our wounds bumping against the nature of the path itself hurts.
The bumps can either be slid over with grace, or grow sharp through our egos. But they are valuable and cannot be snuffed out, ironed flat, or ignored.
Try it. Stop making the nature of something wrong. Just let it be.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Stand Strong
The past few weeks have been what my niece in law says - "crazy!". I love when she says it - it sounds so alive; not negative, nor positive - simply crazy. That about wraps it up. But, it's an interesting topic - this hoopla energy - this colliding into myself energy - this I "am so tired just let me sleep and someone wake me up when its all over energy".
The waves of brilliance pouring through our universal soul overlay is immense; often and more powerful than anything I have ever felt. To be honest - I went to bed. Fever. Exhaustion. I stopped the crazy and retreated. I think its over, at least for now. I can get up again, see clients again. Zowie.
Over the past two weeks, I kept colliding into myself. I would mention someone to a friend, and then they would appear. Instantly. I had the fullest week I have ever had in my private practice. A family member had surgery. Clients got mad at me. Clients pushed my buttons. I felt when I pushed their buttons. Excuse me, folks, your humanness is showing. And I went to bed. After a client I would need to go to bed..... just fall onto the bed with my clothes on...and sleep, for hours.
So sensative. Everyone. All of it. Everything is heightened.
I had a talk with God last week about wanting a glass of wine. I really wanted one. I am SO good ALL the time...it feels boring to me only when I get tired and get off balance. I was in the store and asked if I could PLEASE have just one, (yes, like a whining three year old, I admit) and 'they' said 'no'. And that little piece of myself which was exhausted (and very off balance) and not listening to my own advise, said back, I think I am going to anyways. I bought the wine, brought it home, put it on the top shelf above the cabinets where the wine lives.....went into the other room and heard a crash! Yes, somehow, (and we know how) the bottle fell forward (physically impossible) and broke dishes on the way to the counter and the floor, over two rugs, white tablecloth, dining room chairs, white counters...and did I mention it was deep red wine? And I said 'you could have just said no', and they said 'we did'. And I spent over an hour picking it up, cleaning it up, washing and bleaching it off the white counters, glass everywhere. Threw out both rugs, It was quite a bold statement even coming from the non physical realm. (They thought it was funny.)
Sometimes being an intuitive, clairvoyant, minister, guide.......has days that are exhausting. Voices, statements of intentions, of pure goodness.......guidance; all day long. All day, every day, knowing what any one person is feeling towards you...imagine. Knowing the moment you say something that offends another and you can feel them retreat. I know how my clients feel. Sometimes, they just don't want to hear it. I get it. Sometimes I just don't want to hear it either - even though I know 'they' are right. I know that the 'they' I speak, no matter how you define it, all-ways has my and your best interest in mind. I know, that the world is all-ways collaborating on my and your behalf - all-ways.
I wonder what it is like to have a life where one has a degree in something linear, which tells you how to best do what you are doing. To have a job where there is a book, rules, guidelines - proven before, from which to use. Where one can turn to page 101 and find the answer. I wonder what it is like to say, oh, I read this and it is fact. To depend on what another has done, rather than what is flowing through you at any given moment. To even believe in fact must be a huge relief in this world. It has to be, people believe in them even when they do not work. I cannot even imagine. Even my concept of fact is not accepted in this linear world. Everyday, every thing I believe in is challenged. Every day.
And every day I challenge another's idea of fact. I wonder what a day would be like to simply stop trying to define, and just be.
I joke with freinds about getting a job in a bakery and serving bagels with a smile at four am every day....but I know me, I'd hear someones dead mother giving them a message and I'd have to reach across the counter, tell them - and then I'd get fired. From a bagel shop.
Lately, there has been so much love pouring through emails - and then, SO much naught. So much complaining and fear based attitudes. The fear is gearing up, it already has geared up and it is out in force. Those who know love, stand strong. It is our time.
Waves of change through brilliant intelligence and awareness are upon us. (BIG TIME!) Several to take place this year, 2012. All our fears and frailties. We humans. Wow - we know we chose this; but really?
Having to stand up against the fear - having to be in love at all times; well, it is not a human course. It is the job of God - of that Divine Holiness. That non-physicalness of life which when we listen does speak to us. I tell all my clients if we listen we better take action on what they say - that is why so many come to me - but what kind of teacher am I if I don't listen? Oh, yeah, human.
The waves of brilliance pouring through our universal soul overlay is immense; often and more powerful than anything I have ever felt. To be honest - I went to bed. Fever. Exhaustion. I stopped the crazy and retreated. I think its over, at least for now. I can get up again, see clients again. Zowie.
Over the past two weeks, I kept colliding into myself. I would mention someone to a friend, and then they would appear. Instantly. I had the fullest week I have ever had in my private practice. A family member had surgery. Clients got mad at me. Clients pushed my buttons. I felt when I pushed their buttons. Excuse me, folks, your humanness is showing. And I went to bed. After a client I would need to go to bed..... just fall onto the bed with my clothes on...and sleep, for hours.
So sensative. Everyone. All of it. Everything is heightened.
I had a talk with God last week about wanting a glass of wine. I really wanted one. I am SO good ALL the time...it feels boring to me only when I get tired and get off balance. I was in the store and asked if I could PLEASE have just one, (yes, like a whining three year old, I admit) and 'they' said 'no'. And that little piece of myself which was exhausted (and very off balance) and not listening to my own advise, said back, I think I am going to anyways. I bought the wine, brought it home, put it on the top shelf above the cabinets where the wine lives.....went into the other room and heard a crash! Yes, somehow, (and we know how) the bottle fell forward (physically impossible) and broke dishes on the way to the counter and the floor, over two rugs, white tablecloth, dining room chairs, white counters...and did I mention it was deep red wine? And I said 'you could have just said no', and they said 'we did'. And I spent over an hour picking it up, cleaning it up, washing and bleaching it off the white counters, glass everywhere. Threw out both rugs, It was quite a bold statement even coming from the non physical realm. (They thought it was funny.)
Sometimes being an intuitive, clairvoyant, minister, guide.......has days that are exhausting. Voices, statements of intentions, of pure goodness.......guidance; all day long. All day, every day, knowing what any one person is feeling towards you...imagine. Knowing the moment you say something that offends another and you can feel them retreat. I know how my clients feel. Sometimes, they just don't want to hear it. I get it. Sometimes I just don't want to hear it either - even though I know 'they' are right. I know that the 'they' I speak, no matter how you define it, all-ways has my and your best interest in mind. I know, that the world is all-ways collaborating on my and your behalf - all-ways.
I wonder what it is like to have a life where one has a degree in something linear, which tells you how to best do what you are doing. To have a job where there is a book, rules, guidelines - proven before, from which to use. Where one can turn to page 101 and find the answer. I wonder what it is like to say, oh, I read this and it is fact. To depend on what another has done, rather than what is flowing through you at any given moment. To even believe in fact must be a huge relief in this world. It has to be, people believe in them even when they do not work. I cannot even imagine. Even my concept of fact is not accepted in this linear world. Everyday, every thing I believe in is challenged. Every day.
And every day I challenge another's idea of fact. I wonder what a day would be like to simply stop trying to define, and just be.
I joke with freinds about getting a job in a bakery and serving bagels with a smile at four am every day....but I know me, I'd hear someones dead mother giving them a message and I'd have to reach across the counter, tell them - and then I'd get fired. From a bagel shop.
Lately, there has been so much love pouring through emails - and then, SO much naught. So much complaining and fear based attitudes. The fear is gearing up, it already has geared up and it is out in force. Those who know love, stand strong. It is our time.
Waves of change through brilliant intelligence and awareness are upon us. (BIG TIME!) Several to take place this year, 2012. All our fears and frailties. We humans. Wow - we know we chose this; but really?
Having to stand up against the fear - having to be in love at all times; well, it is not a human course. It is the job of God - of that Divine Holiness. That non-physicalness of life which when we listen does speak to us. I tell all my clients if we listen we better take action on what they say - that is why so many come to me - but what kind of teacher am I if I don't listen? Oh, yeah, human.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Quantum Vulnerability
Oriah Moutain Dreamer (excellent books !) sent a blurb out on FB about her recent FB comment being misunderstood by readers, and how she practiced NOT commenting back, through the art of detachment, and how she found herself being in all that drama. Her practice was very familiar to me; yet my take on it is different.
When we speak or write and then others comment to us, and we feel we are NOT understood in the exact framework we meant it to be; human frustration can arise. I learned a very long time ago, that was a never ending gerbil wheel of exhaustion and if one is going to be a giver / sharer of teachings of any kind - or even a human being, another viewpoint about communion was necessary.
(The moment you have a conversation you are in co-munion with another heart. The moment you enter outside yourself; you are co-munning with life. The moment you give of yourself; whatever it is, is received in comunion with another heart.)
I walk the path of detachment in my life and work and purpose. I do not think of myself as a teacher in the traditional sense; for I believe we are each our own teacher. Not thinking of myself as a teacher allows me to speak, explain, offer, give; and then let go and allow the comments, ideas or analogies to "land" if they will. I use this word often, for that is what I believe our words do, they 'land' within another persons energy field. And then, perhaps in conflict with the givers ego; they can become something unlike the giver was offering. The moment we speak, write, present, give anything - it take on a life of its own. We can each share, but what the receiver does with it is up to them.
Yesterday I submitted my first play to a festival. I have been a closet writer of novels, poetry, shorts and plays since high school. The act of actually sending it out, letting it go, allowing anothers eyes to view it; well, it is much like letting your child go to college. The moment anything leaves our hearts to be viewed, read, heard, seen by another; the thing itself changes.
As I hit the send button I thought; I have to direct it so they get it right; but then, my higher much smarter more unconditional wiser self jumped in; but, another heart, another set of eyes; the excitement of what another individual could bring to the table, how another would influx a word, or see a movement, or input an emotion; would create something different. I find that exciting, collaborative and 'right'.
The act of allowing others in, produces vulnerabilty and THAT is an opportunity for self teaching at it very, very best!
The moment an artist lets go of their work, it becomes something different than it was while in their hallowed midst. The second it hangs in another room, is viewed by another heart; the work itself changes.
The same is true of our conversations. The moment we speak and allow another to hear our thoughts; the meaning of the words we were speaking become something different when heard by another person. Because of this, I stopped a LONG LONG time ago; writing for others, speaking to impress others, trying to make a point to others. In that context, the gerbil wheel evolves into a mammoth carnival ride of ego against ego.
Create so your own heart feels it. Write so your heart is moved. Speak words which move your emotional life up the scale of this journey. Allow the teacher who you are, to pay attention to your favorite and truly only student; yourself. And KNOW that if and when any gift comes from the heart, is authentic and true; it will only do good, create love, be moved and received in joy. Another words, give from your heart, not your ego. Give from love, not from fear.
In Love, Deborah
When we speak or write and then others comment to us, and we feel we are NOT understood in the exact framework we meant it to be; human frustration can arise. I learned a very long time ago, that was a never ending gerbil wheel of exhaustion and if one is going to be a giver / sharer of teachings of any kind - or even a human being, another viewpoint about communion was necessary.
(The moment you have a conversation you are in co-munion with another heart. The moment you enter outside yourself; you are co-munning with life. The moment you give of yourself; whatever it is, is received in comunion with another heart.)
I walk the path of detachment in my life and work and purpose. I do not think of myself as a teacher in the traditional sense; for I believe we are each our own teacher. Not thinking of myself as a teacher allows me to speak, explain, offer, give; and then let go and allow the comments, ideas or analogies to "land" if they will. I use this word often, for that is what I believe our words do, they 'land' within another persons energy field. And then, perhaps in conflict with the givers ego; they can become something unlike the giver was offering. The moment we speak, write, present, give anything - it take on a life of its own. We can each share, but what the receiver does with it is up to them.
Yesterday I submitted my first play to a festival. I have been a closet writer of novels, poetry, shorts and plays since high school. The act of actually sending it out, letting it go, allowing anothers eyes to view it; well, it is much like letting your child go to college. The moment anything leaves our hearts to be viewed, read, heard, seen by another; the thing itself changes.
As I hit the send button I thought; I have to direct it so they get it right; but then, my higher much smarter more unconditional wiser self jumped in; but, another heart, another set of eyes; the excitement of what another individual could bring to the table, how another would influx a word, or see a movement, or input an emotion; would create something different. I find that exciting, collaborative and 'right'.
The act of allowing others in, produces vulnerabilty and THAT is an opportunity for self teaching at it very, very best!
The moment an artist lets go of their work, it becomes something different than it was while in their hallowed midst. The second it hangs in another room, is viewed by another heart; the work itself changes.
The same is true of our conversations. The moment we speak and allow another to hear our thoughts; the meaning of the words we were speaking become something different when heard by another person. Because of this, I stopped a LONG LONG time ago; writing for others, speaking to impress others, trying to make a point to others. In that context, the gerbil wheel evolves into a mammoth carnival ride of ego against ego.
Create so your own heart feels it. Write so your heart is moved. Speak words which move your emotional life up the scale of this journey. Allow the teacher who you are, to pay attention to your favorite and truly only student; yourself. And KNOW that if and when any gift comes from the heart, is authentic and true; it will only do good, create love, be moved and received in joy. Another words, give from your heart, not your ego. Give from love, not from fear.
In Love, Deborah
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Celebrations & Rituals
Last week my husband was watching the tribute to (the closing of) Shay Stadium in NY - I believe it took place a few years ago, yet the show held me spellbound. Not because Billy Joel was so good, but because he was so thrilled to be there - his authenticity, love and humbleness poured out of him. The intentions of the performance were palpable, then Paul McCartney getting there in record time because an entire team of souls came together from the stadium to the police, to the airport - made it happen.
The moment that got me, was when the entire, packed soul to soul stadium sang back to Billy Joel HIS own song. He sat there at his piano, tears, sweat, awe - looking at the sea of humanity singing TO HIM, his own song. I tell you, that was an amazing moment, to be in the audience had to be life changing.
What a celebration. What an extraordinary ritual. The memory for all those thousands of people who were there that night will be the JOY of the love, the excitement of the work and accomplishments of the evening - that is their final and first thought of their beloved original stadium.
Change. The most natural aspect of life. Rituals allow for us to have a different memory. All of our celebrations invoke a chord of joy, of gratitude; no matter the occasion.
In marriage, even if the wedding was difficult to plan, even if there were family feuds, misunderstandings, exhaustion.......the actual day and moment are what is remembered, is what is the most recent memory and therefore the vibration which is remembered and felt.
At funerals and memorials, no matter the pain and deep loss; the celebration of the life which was lived, which effected others; is what is honored, remembered and is the energetic vibration which you are left with. The love felt when others grieve with us and celebrate with us can be more powerful and can overcome the pain of loss. The loss cannot and should never be forgotten, but the most tender and loving and positive memories the future is built on can be those of the life celebration itself.
If a pregnancy is difficult, but the welcoming of new life in the form of a naming, or christening or other ritual can be the memory from which one moves forward with.
Rituals of all kinds, types, sizes and intentions are powerful beyond description. They connect us to the great mystery, to the non physical life. The feelings that we have, the feelings we experience are who we are. Our feelings, in every moment, create where we will be perceiving from in the next moment.
We all know of the experience of a difficult death - and then there is the life celebration of honoring, sharing, crying and laughing and parts of us are healed through those experiences. Our memories can shift from the painful burdens to the love. The love is what always survives. The love always is there.
The New Year ritual allows souls to begin again, to feel the freshness of a clean slate. A birthday party welcomes us to feel renewed, to move forward, to let go of perhaps a year which was not our easiest. The coming of age rituals allow families to let go of a child and welcome a young woman or man. A ritual allows our selves to step into new roles through support of family and friends. Through ritual our hearts gain a new understanding of any situation, to see with new eyes.
The intentions of any ritual cleanses us of the old and welcomes the new.
Creating ritual is a power-filled and substantial process which can change your interior tremendously and therefore your life feels, looks and is different.
The moment that got me, was when the entire, packed soul to soul stadium sang back to Billy Joel HIS own song. He sat there at his piano, tears, sweat, awe - looking at the sea of humanity singing TO HIM, his own song. I tell you, that was an amazing moment, to be in the audience had to be life changing.
What a celebration. What an extraordinary ritual. The memory for all those thousands of people who were there that night will be the JOY of the love, the excitement of the work and accomplishments of the evening - that is their final and first thought of their beloved original stadium.
Change. The most natural aspect of life. Rituals allow for us to have a different memory. All of our celebrations invoke a chord of joy, of gratitude; no matter the occasion.
In marriage, even if the wedding was difficult to plan, even if there were family feuds, misunderstandings, exhaustion.......the actual day and moment are what is remembered, is what is the most recent memory and therefore the vibration which is remembered and felt.
At funerals and memorials, no matter the pain and deep loss; the celebration of the life which was lived, which effected others; is what is honored, remembered and is the energetic vibration which you are left with. The love felt when others grieve with us and celebrate with us can be more powerful and can overcome the pain of loss. The loss cannot and should never be forgotten, but the most tender and loving and positive memories the future is built on can be those of the life celebration itself.
If a pregnancy is difficult, but the welcoming of new life in the form of a naming, or christening or other ritual can be the memory from which one moves forward with.
Rituals of all kinds, types, sizes and intentions are powerful beyond description. They connect us to the great mystery, to the non physical life. The feelings that we have, the feelings we experience are who we are. Our feelings, in every moment, create where we will be perceiving from in the next moment.
We all know of the experience of a difficult death - and then there is the life celebration of honoring, sharing, crying and laughing and parts of us are healed through those experiences. Our memories can shift from the painful burdens to the love. The love is what always survives. The love always is there.
The New Year ritual allows souls to begin again, to feel the freshness of a clean slate. A birthday party welcomes us to feel renewed, to move forward, to let go of perhaps a year which was not our easiest. The coming of age rituals allow families to let go of a child and welcome a young woman or man. A ritual allows our selves to step into new roles through support of family and friends. Through ritual our hearts gain a new understanding of any situation, to see with new eyes.
The intentions of any ritual cleanses us of the old and welcomes the new.
Creating ritual is a power-filled and substantial process which can change your interior tremendously and therefore your life feels, looks and is different.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Good bye 2011, Hello 2012
I send you love.
I have never before truly looked forward to a New Year, but from my heart, 2012 is one new day which I am sincerely looking forward to.
2011 brought much "business" to The ALM. I was brought away from church ministry in the traditional sense, and private practice was the root of my calling. I have sat in awe of the human spirit and the inner strength which when called upon, trusted and allowed shines forth. I have sat in honor of so many souls; you have trusted me and I in turn have trusted God.
You have placed me in your lives in ways I never could have seen possible and when I sit and contemplate Love; I think of you.
I think of your faces, hearts, journeys every day. I think of your lives, your joys, your heart wrenching opening moments and I give thanks.
A beloved told me this year she feels like my office is her church. One on One church.
I think of you, those who I have served at numerous churches, I think of you.
I send you love.
I think of the strangers who some how get my number.....or the person who says your card popped up on my desk....or the woman who knew so and so or the client who just happened to walk into store to ask directions and met me......or the man who found me on the internet and I ended up talking his son through painful times.......I think of young mothers dying, couples being married, partners finally being able to be 'legal', ......I think of you.
I think of your face lighting up during a class as you remember, I think of the joy you felt when you 'got it', I think of your tears you sobbed in my presence......I think of you.
I think of how I ran into you last week after a while and it felt heart warming and loving. I think of your voice saying thank you. I think of crawling up next to you as we talk about your fears and assuring you, God is here. I think of you.
I think of your faces when at the altar of the service you said "yes", "I do", and embraced in luscious love.
I truly do hold you each in my heart. Even if you have not been an active part of this ministry for years; I remember you. I wonder how you are. I send you love.
I offer you my deepest gratitude for allowing me, little Debbie Evans from North Andover, the honor of being a teeny facet of your journey. Thank you for being such a HUGE part of mine.
To 2012.
with great love & gratitude, Rev Deb
Thursday, December 29, 2011
The Divine Perfection of Different
Word Origin & History
integrity c.1450, "wholeness, perfect condition," from O.Fr. integrité, from L. integritatem (nom. integritas) "soundness, wholeness," from integer "whole" (see integer). Sense of "uncorrupted virtue" is from 1548.
I have been in deep thought and ponderness lately. I wonder about the words integrity and responsibility. I found the above meaning for the first choice of mind contemplations, and with a sense of understanding I offer it to you. I love the use of wholeness, from the Latin root whole. As I often call myself on being in integrity with life, clients, my work; I see the perfection of uncorrupted virtue........for when we are not in integrity, as when we are not in alignment with Love; our own wholeness is cracked, fractured, corrupted.
Being honest, the simplicity of such an act, appears to be difficult for some - being honest brings about a vulnerability, doesn't it? What if they really see me? What happens if they really know what I am thinking? Will they like me, will they agree with me? If I say this, this that I am truly feeling and express that I am not in agreement with them......where will I be? Not being something for the approval and acceptance of another, is truly carving a bit of ourselves away.
Here is me being honest and vulnerable: "I am so tired of hearing preachers, minsters, clergy say "when you are in Gods house." It is said in church. I have heard it said as if it's a threat to the congregation; come on, you are in Gods house now, be honest.......Are we NOT ALL-WAYS in Gods house? Isn't our body Gods House? Are we not, every day, no matter where we are in GODS HOUSE? The earth, the universe, the supermarket! Please, know that no matter where you stand, you are in Gods house. The (traditional) misconception of teaching that the church building is Gods house has allowed too many to stray from the fold. It has left a fracture, a place for lack of wholeness and my emotions around this bring my fire up. You come in here and you are in Gods house, you go out there and do what you what. NOT. "
(Okay, that felt good, thank you!)
It seems that we sometimes place the wholeness of ourselves at risk for the acceptance of another human being. OR do we place our own wholeness at risk because we are self judging and cannot be honest with who we are at that moment? Does it come down to self acceptance, trust in our own feelings, faith in the divine perfection of different?
The emotional attachments of responsibilty can be overwhelming. As all who are in a therapuetic line of work...we know and experience the boundary of this is yours to do, I cannot do it for you. It can be a thin line, a gray line, a wavering line.....but it is always there. Sometimes it takes a microscope to see it. It can take days, hours, painful moments to find it; but it is always there.
Integrity can guide us to where the line of responsibility is - how to find it - how to listen for it. This is not mine, this is yours. I can not do that for you, you have to make the choice to do it or not. I find that when I trust the work, the line comes through so bright and deep I cannot help but see it. When I trust God, all is made clear. I find that when I take me out of the equation, and always remember this is about them and God, me and God....then I see clealry.
We each can do the same in all aspects of our lives. In a parenting, in being in relationship, in any moment. This is yours, not mine. This is mine, not yours. The basic, basic first lesson a six month old learns when in his/her first play group. Good lesson. Very good lesson.
Kindness, honesty. Integrity, being honest and kind at the same time. Responsibility, taking action through honesty and kindness. Honesty and kindness is a powerful combination. Stand in God.
When I take a stand, even if another human cannot see the struggle I am standing in; I have to ask for Jesus to guide me, to help me, to take my hand and not let go. I aks for my angels to hold me up. I ask for all the non physical Light filled assistance possible. And then I am brutally honest with myself.
And I ask, because I am fully convinced, I KNOW, that alone, we humans cannot do it. We can't even get up in the morning without Gods help; I do not know how to get my body to breathe, do you?
Get vulnerable, be yourself, stand in Faith, and allow honesty combined with integrity to lead you. This is being responsible for God and therefore; for yourself. No one is like you. No one will ever be like you. You are unique, beautiful and amazing. You stand in integrity through faith and all good will come to be your experience. You will stand in wholeness. If you one does not stand in faith of God, the Higher Power; I see fracture, I see pain. I do not want that for any one. I want for you, what I want for myself. A peace which passes all and any human understanding through a personal relationship with God, Holy Spirit, the non physical Light, Creator.
with great love & gratitude,
Rev. Deborah
Monday, December 12, 2011
In the Wilderness
Hello Everyone – Namaste;
In the wilderness we are in the unknown, in new territory. We do not know which way to go, how to get somewhere else, how to find our way, what to say, what to ask, which way to turn. In the wilderness we are new, we are babes. We feel alone. It is a mighty scary place indeed – and even more frightening if we keep expecting the security of a handwritten outcome and the guarantees that go along with all that means to show up BEFORE we take that first baby step. That way of thinking only keeps us in the desert and creates the gerbil wheel of insanity to form in our minds – leaving our hearts running on empty.
Now if one would like to dig deep into the Season, we could also say one is a virgin – in new territory – never before done this or that, feeling insecure, not knowing how, doing the unexpected and being afraid because it is all NEW. And the bold truth is that every day we wake up, we are virgins. We have no idea how the day will become and where we will go. When we are in new territory, feeling like a babe, that too is a virgin state. Every moment we find ourselves in prayer, we in a virgin state – we are in something we cannot do, fix or figure out by ourselves, so we are calling in God and all other good in order to help us or another find their way through this new territory they are experiencing.
In my ‘a different church every Sunday tour’ I am on, yesterday I went to the Congregational Church of Topsfield. Here is a prayer from them: “Gracious and merciful God, we confess to you our reluctance to enter the wilderness places where we are confronted with our true selves. The places where we are tempted to put worldly values before our desire for you. When we are tempted to use the gifts you give us to benefit ourselves at the expense of serving others: Forgive us God and increase our trust in you. Merciful God, forgive us our sins and fill us with your Spirit that we put our whole trust in you as confidently as Jesus did. Amen. “
For many of The ALM/CoSE family this may sound a bit old school and patriarchal; but read it anyway and speak it out loud. It carries good, real, true, insights. God is gracious and based on how humans treat themselves and one another – more merciful than anybody I know can imagine. And we DO put worldly values before our desire of God. It is what gets us feeling empty, sad and afraid. That’s a no brainer, my beloveds. Whenever you even think about or if you are living a life where you place worldy deisres BEFORE your desire to know God as your self; well, it is not a comfortable place to be. And if you DO know Gods goodness and generosity and then try to USE that in a righteous state of saying you are serving another human – well my friends; ego will have the upper hand. Jesus exemplified perfect trust in God. We cannot possibly know it all – we may not even know a little teeny tiny bit of IT – but we do know how it feels inside our own bellies when we stray from seeking the highest form of Love and compassion and kindness in any given action to ourselves or another human being. And this is why I teach you the discernment process in order for you to KNOW thyself so you can use your inner compass in depending on this nonphysical entity called Holy Spirit in order to find your way out of your wilderness; or as you have heard me say, your head is in a paper bag and you can’t find your way out.
If you are seeing your own self clearly, seeing your error, your lack way of thinking, seeing things you simply do not like about yourself; first off, be gentle on yourself. Then accept yourself for where you are. It is an experience. If you see you have been selfish; know, okay, I have been selfish. I chose this experience in order to know God more. You are human, you are here in form to become more loving; to know God. That is not an easy trip and one of less courage does not choose to make it. Secondly, take a breath. Okay now, affirm your faith in God. Pray. Sit. Read, repeat, mantra, OM, sing, dance, do an act which brings you into your awareness of your all ready made connection of God. And ask to have the same faith in God that Jesus exemplified.
“Mother, Father God I am here. I ask to know You deeply – I ask to feel You without doubt. I ask to know the same faith, trust and dependency on You which my brother, friend and way shower Jesus did. I ask to feel You in my belly, deep in my heart, in every cell of my body – in order to choose a more loving action for and to myself and others. Thank you God.”Okay, thirdly; today, do it differently. Take a small baby step through the unknown wilderness and do something differently than you have been doing it. Anything.
Tomorrow, wake up and start again.When we are in the wilderness, virgins on a new unexpected experience of spiritual sight; we have to accept who we are and where we have been. And we can only do that through knowing that we are each human, each frail along the journey, each forgiving of ourselves and others, each surrendering to God in order to heal our hearts; KNOWNG this is NOT something we do alone. No one does it alone. Every single person is the same and wants the same thing and came here to experience an individual journey in order to find it. E-v-e-r-y one. No matter what they do for work, who they are, what language they speak, how rich or poor, how educated or not. Every single person is a child of the Most High God and every single person is struggling in some way -- to find their way -- out of their own paper bag. Be gentle on yourself and others, and sooner than latter you will find your way out of the wilderness.
with great love, Rev Deb
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