May these thoughts bless your journey with grace. - Deborah

 ~  Saying we are in interesting times doesn’t feel enough, or isn’t close enough to the vibration of the present and pending change, is it?  This is a passage of time with themes, and perhaps hearing my perception of them, reading of them, may help support your individual journey.

 

1.    The theme of  LANGUAGE

There is an obvious language and communication discrepancy.  The less dense or some may say higher vibrations which are being experienced have no words in our human language which explain them to others.

Many times, I find myself ‘searching’ my mind for a word or phrase which can offer the equal vibration of whatever it is I am attempting to offer. The reason I am attempting to offer IT is because their soul is calling out for the mind to catch up with the more loving vibration it has reached. My searching for words can evidently look quite pained to someone who is still in their head; ‘just say it!’ – I will hear. I cannot. The reason I cannot is because the soul of the individual is prepared to be at the new level of realization, but their mind is stuck at the old, so the bridge is the offering. So, I have learned that offering a parable like tale works best. Sharing an experience which vibrates at the same level of expansion as the point I am attempting to offer is how I am able to clearly share with another. The tale does not have to have any similarities at all on the linear plan to the present moment story, crisis or communication – it is the like vibration of emotional cords which help to explain the ‘point’ and therefore the bridging of one’s mind and heart. I did not do it; the vibration of the offering is what actually causes the shift to take place for the beloved.

………………………… 

2.    The theme of  - TAKE ‘I’ OUT OF IT

At this time in space and life, as you are wrestling with understanding anything, it helps to take all pronouns out of the conversation. This is a tool / bridge which can support the releasing of the energy of the ego.

“I did this, I did that”. – No, you did not. When you truly think about whatever it is you think you did, you will realize there is no way you could have done it. Something greater than you did it, and for the sake of this writing we will call that God/Spirit.

Come see my garden – I planted and grew all my own vegetables.  No, you didn’t. You could not know how to grow a vegetable if you tried. God and the Divine Perfection within the seed did it. Yes, you tended it. Yes, you followed plant protocol. Yes, you weeded and watered – but, you did not grow them.

Come behold the vegetables God grew for us!

Come witness how beautiful this garden is.

……………………………………….

“I manifested this! I co created this!” 

In our humanness we can not manifest anything. I never manifested any home I have lived in – God revealed them to me. I did not co create anything either. Again, the ego is fed through the teaching that I/we had anything at all to do with anything being revealed to u -- except for the ALLOWING of.  Something we desire and dream of may certainly be revealed to us, and yes, through our faith and SURRENDER we allow the Holy Spirit to work through us – but God is doing the manifesting of the revelation and nothing is being created because ALL of it is already created. Just think how hard people work at co creation. Of course they work hard, to teach that YOU have to create ANYTHING is I/ego. Too many people are tired from trying to manifest something they want in their lives – and this is a reflection of the discordant energy which is brought into the stream of consciousness through the belief that a human has to create anything – it brings instant conflict because it is an untruth. AND it keeps you in your HEAD.  

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I am sad. I am angry. I am poor. I am rich. I am lonely.

As you heal, take I AM this or that out of it.  And ALWAYS speak the words out loud.

I am experiencing sadness. I am witnessing anger in this experience.

 I am experiencing the energy of lack. I am aware of the energy of loneliness.

I AM is the most sacred term, energy, vibration. The moment you state I AM anything, you instantly BRIDGE your vibrational cords to the vibration of that particular word or words. (This is the reason in The 4 – T’s class on prosperity, it is the first tool offered to say out loud as many times a day as you can: I AM RICH.)

The I AM energy is one which is always stated out loud, even in the most unconscious situations. It is often a phrase which is repeated over and over again – depending how wretched or joyful one feels at the time.

By stating and turning your face away from I AM associated with lack awareness and stating an experience of anything, you instantly separate yourself from the vibration of whatever it is. You instantly take yourself OUT of the energy field and allow yourself to be outside it and to become an observer or witness of an experience OF --- rather than the experience itself. As well as, to consciously CHOOSE the experience you DO want to be aligned with.

………………………………….

3.    The theme of Conflict / Discordant Energy

An awareness of Spirit, an awakening of Lightness, a healing at any depth, forgiveness of self or others; none of these can possibly take place in an energy field of discordancy – which comes from conflict. Once you bring an energy of being/going against anything; conflictive energy is birthed. (This can be birthed in unkindness, thoughtlessness, uncaringness, vacancy, being without compassion, narrow perceptions.) It simply does not feel good – you may feel angst in your belly, a headache, and/or tightness in your back, chest or neck. And if you are open to energies, being in the midst of it is quite uncomfortable.

Loving something free is the path of least resistance which is the only path from which Spirit may be seen, felt, reflected, experienced.

In the moment you go up against anything – you create a discordant energy which prevents you from FEELING Holy Spirit.

Fear, anger, repression, re-actions,  getting back at someone, blame, forcing an opinion on someone, making someone wrong so you can feel right, finding fault, making a person, place or thought ‘bad’; any energy in thought, opinion or other which is lack instantly brings about discordant energy which in that moment prevents one from aligning with Divine Love. It is never that Divine Love is not present; it is our allowing of It to pour through us in our thoughts, words and actions which lifts us.

Offered in Light and Love,

Deborah

.......two roads diverged in a wood and I.......

I realize, through past experiences, this may offend some folks. If you get angry at democrats, you may not want to read this. If you are fighting tooth and nail to hang on to old ways, you may not want to read this. If you believe that my position as a minister is crossing the line in giving my political views, you really do not want to read this. If you are the least bit curious how I/we could possibly put a spiritual metaphysical spin on politics, then you want to read this.

For the past few weeks I have been treading water, politically speaking. Yet, after I sat in the humbleness and magnificence of Michelle Obama’s 2012 speech, I had an epiphany.

In my family I have two strict republicans who I respect and love; my sister and my son. One of them lives in the same house with me, and is an excellent explainer of politics and this not so clear system I have never found to fully understand, nor grasp.  I have felt for weeks, like oh so many of us, that this election and our upcoming individual vote is critical. I have been swayed moment to moment, cautious of the aspect of choice I and we must make. I am now surer than ever of my personal direction.

As I heard Mrs. Obama’s words I found my own voice, radiating in my head, repeating my life’s mission. I am a minster, counselor, teacher and spiritual mentor. I encourage Oneness and the sanction of humanity. I am a soulful independent, who believes in the seed of power within all beings. I believe it takes a tribe. We are not, nor are we ever alone. I see now, that this is not an election of men; nor of parties. It is a choice of ego or soul, of lack or oneness, of head or heart.

In past few weeks I heard what the republicans were saying and read numbers put together by who knows who, and I felt my ego and my belly begin to fear ‘what about the economy – what about the money – what about the good ole American way?’.

In my own head I was hearing what some may term republican voices. It was amazing to me – for my own private practice has never been so abundant as it is right now,  in over 20 years and my family has many blessings of the linear plan, our lives are good, rich and full. Why was I hearing it? I knew something within was off. I was feeling out of balance. I was feeling pulled. I took the head path and asked questions, listened to ‘the other views’. My heart told me, ‘do not be afraid to hear what the others say, make a clear, full and strong choice!’.

I often suggest to my clients; either you choose to move (forward) or not. I can support you to go there, I can offer you tools, but it is all your choice. I cannot do it for you. Either you have faith in your choice, the choice which calls you; or not. Either you are willing to invest in yourself or not. I also explain to them that going from what was to what will be can be VERY messy. Transformation is never pretty. To unload old beliefs, inner structures, thoughts and ways can be a significantly frightening experience. But, having faith in what you KNOW IS POSSIBLE is the key.

It is all too easy, in our humanness, to sway to the ego, to say yes to fear, to cop out before the revelation!!  As the fierce Mrs. Obama said, this office of presidency does not change you; it reveals the person you are. I believe my personal inner challenge to choose in this election has also revealed who I am.

In our personal journeys, the aspect of change reveals who we are. The idea of transformation, of shifting to another way of being, of doing even the slightest thing differently; can be scary – yet when we do, we are empowered beyond measure, for that aspect of ourselves that said yes, which started with a what if, begins to shine, pulse and create more goodness than before.

Years ago I voted for Obama. I felt that this was a good, decent man. I had no idea what kind of politician he was. I went with my gut. He was refreshing. I am sure I am not alone on this. Some of us choose elections with our gut, it’s just the way it is, I admit it. I dare say, most of us do not understand the political machine as it is; no doubt, not even some folks on the inside.

Now, after listening to Clinton, as well as to last night’s final evening of the DNC; I know more than ever. This is a clash between the lack and the promise of that which is yet revealed. As in our own lives, we are asked to keep the faith, our eye and heart on what has yet to be seen; until it is revealed to us. It is always the darkest before the dawn.

My response to my many relatives  who adamantly,  passionately and what I see as fearfully believe in the republican ticket simply because of their experience of a horrible economy; is I thank you for being so loud, so emotionally violent against the what is yet to be – we are in the midst of a grave transformation my friends. We are heading into 12/2012, the end of the Mayan calendar as it has been stated – we have the awe inspiring choice to be part of supporting the foundation of our ancestors as well as our future beings - to be part of an age of humanity. 

President Obama and his circle of speakers stated it honestly; we are not yet where we want to be. In transformation as in change, it is ALWAYS messy. But does that mean we give up? NO!

I personally see and believe we are at a fork, of great magnitude, in the road of our civilization. A fork of right or left. A fork of oneness and wholeness or singular independent stand aloneness. I believe this is IT! I believe this same fork, with different plots and players have been the downfall of prior civilizations. Some of us may have imagined this coming of the golden age would commence with a vision of angelic beings and heavens opening up or imagined Jesus would stand before us or Archangel Michael’s sword would cut us loose from our own tangled egos – but the truth is WE DO THAT. Is that not what I say to everyone?! We, are our own savior and only we can make the choice to choose love or not. At each turn we choose to say yes to God or no, to push back or forge ahead. Every action we take, every choice we make brings us closer to wholeness or it keeps us apart. Every choice.

And I state with my most open heart possible; now, we are at that choice. Now. Right now is a time of choice to vote for the goodness of humanity, to support the truth we, at the ALM speak of - that to see an awareness of God as every being, is our  work – or, we shy away, hunker down in the catacombs of victimhood laced with monetary fear and blame.

Since my freshman year in high school, this has been a favorite:

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. Robert Frost

 

Bless our journey’s, choices, hearts and the world. May we each keep faith is that which has not yet been revealed.

Thank you. – Rev. Deborah Evans Hogan

Sparkle to Sparkle

(Written by a young light-being visitor on thier first venture to this plane.)

There is so much I do not understand. From a psychological perspective, energy perspective, I do get it, I took the course in human life, (101 only) ; and yet, being here with you all - there is a blatant simplicity to all of IT, and I continue to wonder, why more people don't get IT? Why do humans insist on staying, standing, 'being in their own way'? It is actually being in the way of God, of Love. Why don't humans simply surrender, step aside and allow love to flow in their lives? Why after all the books, hallmark movies, some great big screen films, teachers we have sent, everyday moments you each have had; do you STILL shy away from loving? ( I know, not all of you, but many...........)

So why do you think people tend to see the negative instead of the love?  What is it in the human make up which creates such a drastic connection to the lack? (Which is not bad, this lack is simply an empty energetic vessel waiting to recognize God.)

You do an incredible job in sticking to what did not go well, rather than what does go well. It is an art form. Some days I can observe anywhere of 3 or 4 millions souls who have had incredibly good and great moments in their lives on a particular day; and by the end of it they are expelling energy on what is not, what goes wrong, what will not be, what if.....

And why are you so busy? What is it about filling every single moment of your day? Why are you in such a hurry? You insist on going rather than being. Utterly exhausting for you. It is very disconcerting to us. Stop. Watch a sunrise, a sunset, a child playing. Look at an elders face, look in someones eyes. Listen to birds. Its all here for you. Look.

And this thing you do about drawing attention to greed, murder, illness, all the lack stuff. Yes, its there as part of the optional pathway design for human life; BUT it does not mean you have to pay attention to it! Stop making movies, stop going to the movies that are made about it, stop reading the books, stop filling your heart with such deafening energy. Wherever you pay attention to grows. It is up to you. Yes, the journey can be hard, but that does not mean impossible. It means you pray for assistance and make it a practice to look the other way, to what is whole, healthy, kind and GOOD for your heart.

Take grieving: I see that humans do not understand that life continues, that you will meet again and again and again. I see that not having these memories is beneficial for your spiritual growth; BUT, when you have had wonderful relationships with other souls, when you have laughed, loved, played together, when you have had intimacy with others, when your soul has been opened through the love of another person; when they come home, why do you grieve? I understand you see loss, but what stops you from seeing the Love? What stops you from seeing, remembering, feeling how wonderful it was, how great it was to share this thing you call life with one another. Why when you have had it all as some of you say; do you concentrate on what you feel you no longer can have; rather than rejoice in what you did have? Do you have any idea how hard you all make the idea of relationships? I'll give you the fact that they are challenging, that God gave them to you in order to expand consciously; but you MUST remember, you CHOSE to come here; so why not have faith that this too is good? Why do you attach yourself to loss rather than gratitude? The gratitude will help you tremendously. Gratitude is one of the most beautiful divine healing methods God designed. The moment you allow yourself to feel gratitude, your heart energy shifts and you FEEL better.

Plus, your loved ones who leave their bodies, get to come home. Dust to dust as your big book says; or how about sparkle to sparkle; between you and me this is more accurate. Believe me, it is gorgeous on this other side as you say; magnificent beyond your imagination. Besides, your 'deceased' loved ones are not really gone, they are just out of body. The body gets tired, it is not perfect, but its the best form of transportation that has been designed so far for the earths atmosphere.

Why do you feel anger helps any situation? How can that possibly help? Think about it. You feel anger, as if that is destroying another person when what it is doing is destroying you. Anger harbors a nasty vibration which is dense and corrupt. It comes from forgetting; we chose to come here, every thought you have, every action you take brings you to where you are right now; all of your life here is a BIG MIRROR. Look in it and see yourself. Be honest. Forgiveness is the key. Once you can step aside from blame, and know that every soul in human disguise has walked in another persons path - we have each been this or that, there is understanding. Often, you choose to take it all so personally, you take in the anger and damage your own heart.  Please don't do this. Stand in forgiveness and understanding that whatever one has been through has brought them to where they are right now; and loosen your rightness reigns and allow understanding to flow. Understanding is NOT acceptance by the way. Understanding does NOT mean you agree. Understanding was designed so you could soften and not cause damage to your own vibration. We all here get very concerned at all the damage you cause your hearts with this very finite way of looking at life.(They are wrong, I am right. They did bad, I am good. I don't deserve this, they are mean. Okay, what if you did have an experience with a lack energy - how is it beneficial to keep making it your story?)) Life is so much more infinite than your minds can manage. I know you may think this is foolish, but I would never chance coming here and being with you if all this were not the Truth. Anybody who has truly forgiven can tell you how freeing it is. Talk to them if you don't believe me. 

Trust the Good.

And finally, I wish you would stop trying to figure out so much. Your unique energy package was designed so you could feel your way through your journey. Yes, you have a thinking mind, but once you take the time to know yourself, and make different choices as to how you wish to show up here, and then your heart is fully opened to Spirit; you can feel your way through it all. God gave you an inner compass - directives to yes and no, do or don't, go or stay. This interior compass vibration does not come through your head or figures on paper; it comes through your heart feeling center. And I do not mean emotions; those emotions will get in your way also; I mean, know yourself. Sit with your being-ness, align with loving , kind thoughts, clear the density from your interior vibration and THEN, you can feel your way through your journey and no matter what happens; you will be okay. More than okay. You will be detached, clear, unconditionally loving, kind, supportive and in your glowing Oneness. 


Good visions! I hope I get to come back again. If this is helpful, I will be allowed. Thank you.

We're human - get over it.

Once again I struggle with 'the attachment to what you do syndrome.' Please forgive me. (Yes, I've read Ruiz. No, I do not take it personally. Yes, I know you see only from you own perception.) It is a real pain in my day when my humanness decides to remind me I am in this body, on this earth, living and breathing just like the rest of you. damn. This attachment disorder creates havoc in my life - if only for the most minute moment. It will cause me to have restless sleep, sit in company of others with nothing to say because my internal wheels are moving at record speed and depth about who said what, who did what and is there any need for me to shamefully walk myself to the city center and ask to be hung in the gallows by my peers. Yup, that bad. And just when I was having such an incredibly great week. damn again.

This doesn't rear its ugly head very often, most days it is the sleeping nightmare, willing to lay so low and angelically quiet I can pretend it no longer exists, causing me to feel very evolved. (come on now, you know what I mean.)  Fortunately for my spiritual growth, this is not a permanent state of being. Unfortunately, for my open heart and costume of humanness I am wearing in this lifetime -  it holds quite a mean kick in ones own butt. The worse part of it is you have NO idea you have yourself on a pedestal until you are laying splat on the ground awaiting all the kings-men to put you back to together again. know what? they never show. damn those childhood stories. no white knights and no kings-men.

Rarely, but it does happen, I awake from a restless nights' sleep, waiting and wishing to take yesterday and roll it up in a ball, (like stripping the bed of unclean sheets), and tossing the ball away. Pure & simply. Just take all of yesterday and cause it to disintegrate. Sigh. Just forget about it, make it non existent. Yup. Sounds good to me.

Oh, but then, the juicy uncomfortableness which causes me to stretch myself in contorted thinking and emotional gymnastics would be naught. my spirit would lay stagnant - or would it?
Can we truly be non attached to another persons opions, beliefs and actions? Is it humanly possible to call upon our selves to not care, to think of ourselves as so detached and 'evolved' that what ever you do has no affect on me?
Can we live by this code :(......maybe, but will we thrive?)

I do not want to have any say, feeling, response or thought at all (silent or other) about  what you do, how you do it or why you do it. i respect whatever choice you make, simply because you're choosing. and i expect the same from you. 

Do you ever find yourself trying too hard to be good?  (Come on...you know you do.) Trying too hard to convince yourself and everyone around you, you are saintly, nice and live by the golden rules? Do you ever feel that you just want to scream: We're human-get over it!!!!

I know that when my words or actions place me in a position of telling you how to behave, I feel awful. It is SO wrong. I know that in the depths of my soul, even when it shows up in the most subtle of ways, when I use the excuse of guidelines, or boundaries, or this is my business......when I make stuff up to fit my ego driven humanness; that I find myself quickly doing the walk of shame. It feels terrible, really terrible. In these moments I am so deeply aware of forgetting God, of forgetting love....I feel sick.  I really want to not care what you do. None of it. I do a pretty good job of this - I live an honest existence of allowing others to be - yet, there are rare times when I kick myself in the butt with this thing of judging what you do - and boy, it is a very uncomfortable, painful, HUGE spiritual 2 x 4. Right upside my head. Damn, that hurts.   

So, once again I thank an unknown to you soul, who majestically entered my life to allow me to see this dried up popcorn kernel seed in the depth of my spirit - this  ego driven piece of yuckiness. (This doesn't mean I want you back in my life, it just means next time, I will do it differently.) Once again I will go to my client guidelines and change things, create new information, tweak the ideas, offer it a new way. One day, I can only pray, that in this incarnation, I will get it "right". I will be able to feel truly and honestly so separate from your stuff, so centered in my own knowing, that no matter what your lovely, majestic and beautiful self does; it has no affect on me.

This my birthday week...and this upcoming birthday celebration has been the first year to gain my inner attention. I have always been one of those people who when asked how old they are had to double check the math first - never held onto age before. Till now.

I am not holding on to the aging awareness as much as I have noticed the generational gaps. I like who I am, how I do life, some days I even feel I look okay...but I have noticed (over and over and over) how old fashioned I am about technology. I made peace with the music gap years ago.....but this techno thing has got me. It is necessary - or is it? I just spent way too much time deciding to buy an ipod or another CD player. I learned, weighed, and ended up buying another CD player. They all have ipod docks....but I intentionally chose the one which HID the docking station so I would not have to be reminded every time I looked at it, that I feel so behind the times, older than, outdated. Although, we just upgraded our phones ( so I could receive emails) and I feel very proud of that....still learning the benefits...........and if honest, I miss my flip phone. It was easier to use, more convenient, more private.

I often hear a naggy old women's voice in my head (who IS that?????)  every so often say: "why don't they just pick up the phone and CALL me." I really don't get it. And text messages can be about really IMPORTANT issues........how does that make sense to me? It simply doesn't. I get that time may be an issue, but if it turns into a string of texts - a phone call would have been faster. And an important topic deserves time & a voice.

Is all this technology making us less intimate? I believe it can. Convenience is one thing - and avoidance is another.

One should NOT use texts or emails for important emotional issues. But you say, what about letter writing, isn't it the same? No, it is not. When you write a letter, the process itself calls you to deepen your thinking and many times you will reread it before mailing. Emails and texts are fast, quick, now. No checking. No depth. You know what happens when you use a fast, convenient device for important, emotional, concerning issues? They get misunderstood. Truly. Think about it. How many times have you felt misunderstood due to another hearing something in your text or email you did not put there? How often have you read an email or text and wondered...what did they mean? Were they trying to be funny? Is this a joke?

And then there is the scheduling. I get that it is more convenient to have all the info you need in your life in a 3 x 5 , 1/4 inch thin electronic gizmo. And some day, (I can feel it nudging at me), as a multi busy woman in private practice I may tend to explore....(someday not now).....the idea of it...... BUT  where does the connection from my hand to my heart go........the connection which happens when I write your name in my day planner?  I love that connection, some moments it feels ritualistic to acknowledge your trust in me and my love for your journey as I place you in the preferred time slot.

As far as ease, I have seen people take ten times as long getting the info INTO their fancy planning device item as it takes me to write it down on my journal and your next appointment card.

Yes, there is a great generational divide. I am aware of it. It is natural.

Another birthday process for me has been looking at the women in my life who are close to my heart and seeing where I am in them. I have sat with the energy of the women closest to me, the ones I have a connection with, and thought: what are you mirroring for me? What is it about you which pushes my boundaries, my comfort zone, my buttons? What is it about you which I respect, seek and adore? Where do I see all that juiciness in myself?

Through this mirroring journey i have seen anger and wondered where it was in me. I have seen a strong woman feel dis-empowered.........where is that in me? I have seen a woman I deeply respect pull through a very challenging journey........where is that in me? I have heard women I love be judgemental.......where is that in me? I have seen women I adore need to be the center of attention........where is that in me? I see women love deeply and loyally, laugh outrageously, huddle in joy, rise up in ego, set them selves apart, give generously, be kind beyond words. And in all that I found tidbits and more of the same in my own self. Knowing that it can only come to me if it is in my own vibration....and knowing that if I do more than simply observe, if I get pushed........then I can look for that in me and go................Oh, there you are...let's find the root and love you so deeply you can leave into Light.

I think this is what I love the most about 'maturing'.........to have the wisdom and the faith to really see and know myself. To see one's self takes more courage than one would ever expect - but when you do, when you can, when you are able to see how you show up - well, then all walls are down and grace descends through all experiences.

So, this is another year since I landed in this incarnation. This will be my 58th birthday. So far, its been pretty incredible. I have had an amazing year and I look forward to more amazing life to unfold in the upcoming 59th year of my life (this time around).

Thank you for all of it -
Bliss & Bless, Deborah

The Nature of the Road

The idea of the nature of something. Everything has a nature. When we look at a thing ( person, experience, idea ) - we rarely see the nature of It, because our perception is shaded by our personal lens' of wounds, opinions, state of being.

From a sharing of mine recently, a beloved mentioned my bumpy road, in a sad manner, and wished me well...and I had to go back and reread what they had read. And it was in this experience I heard this: The nature of the road is that it is bumpy. Do not make the bumps wrong. ....and brilliance sparkled! I was awake at one AM basking in this truth - smiling and blissing while contemplating and writing about this from my cozy sheets.

So much awareness opened as I watched a movie play out of how this truth reigns in our lives. Do not make the bumps wrong - we do this well enough when we are learning something new, a class perhaps, we can be patient, knowing we are not yet supposed to know. The bumps are the not knowing. We do not make it wrong that we do not yet know.

And then we are in every day life, and as we traverse the bumpy plane we can become so disillusioned, disappointed and make things so WRONG - which are just the nature of the road. And from our fear labels the word wrong pops up, and an entirely new emotional bag of tools surfaces. We start blaming, finding ways we are right  or find ways to bury our self esteem even more, or the #1 choice; make another person wrong. 

The bumps are not wrong, they just are. Life has bumps, all kinds. It's okay. Observe them. See them. Oh, you're a bump. Oh, you are in my way. Let's see, is there another path I can choose?

The nature of fire is hot. We do not make it wrong, do we? Can we blame the fire if we put our finger in it and it burns?

If someone comes at us with anger, it will not feel good. The nature of anger is hot and sharp.

Disgareeing is the nature of being human - it does not have to mean fighting, or making wrong, or finding fault. It simply is the nature of being human and having two individual lives coming together at one moment - there may be two different opinions.

When we share our road with another person, they see it through their own lens and that is the individual makeup of their personality, which is a concoction of wounds, beliefs, ideas and thoughts. Given that, it is all too precious when someone DOES agree with us!

The road of spiritual awakening is not pretty and often messy. The end moment is mighty fine, but it could be aligned with making love.....the experience leading up to the reason we chose to do it can be hot, sweaty, exhausting and messy; but the end result makes it worth it; to many.

The nature of  the road of raising children is that there are many bumps. Daily living with little ones, which if we make wrong can be utterly unnerving and cause women everywhere to retaliate in thinking they have failed, are not doing enough and one of the undeniably most sad things I hear; I want a real job, this is not enough, I am not enough, I need to to do more.

The children are not wrong. The children, the experiences, the moments; they simply are. They are part of the road you chose.  Given that raising another human being, being one of the guides for a souls journey in this incarnation - well, there is no more important job in the entire world, than to raise conscious adults to move into the next phase of our earths existence with more awareness than the prior group did.  

As our children mature and grow into the next phase of thier paths, we may ask something of them they do not agree with. The nature of thier respone is they will not like it. It is the nature of coming into ones own skin - to not like anyone telling us how to do something. If you expect it to be easy, you are not respecting the nature of the road.

The nature of divorce and the severing of cords in the ending or letting go of any relationship is going to be challenging. That is the nature of the experience. Yet, if one comes at an experience without expectations and with love, it can ease the path and grace it with softness rather than sharpness.

The nature of the path of anything new is usually bumpy. Ok.

But what are the bumps made of? Opportunities.

And why do they hurt so much? Because we fight them so darn much. Because we label them wrong. Because our wounds bumping against the nature of the path itself hurts.

The bumps can either be slid over with grace, or grow sharp through our egos. But they are valuable and cannot be snuffed out, ironed flat, or ignored.

Try it. Stop making the nature of something wrong. Just let it be.

Stand Strong

The past few weeks have been what my niece in law says - "crazy!". I love when she says it - it sounds so alive; not negative, nor positive - simply crazy. That about wraps it up. But, it's an interesting topic - this hoopla energy - this colliding into myself energy - this I "am so tired just let me sleep and someone wake me up when its all over energy".

The waves of brilliance pouring through our universal soul overlay is immense; often and more powerful than anything I have ever felt. To be honest - I went to bed. Fever. Exhaustion. I stopped the crazy and retreated. I think its over, at least for now. I can get up again, see clients again. Zowie.

Over the past two weeks, I kept colliding into myself. I would  mention someone to a friend, and then they would appear. Instantly. I had the fullest week I have ever had in my private practice. A family member had surgery. Clients got mad at me. Clients pushed my buttons. I felt when I pushed their buttons. Excuse me, folks, your humanness is showing. And I went to bed. After a client I would need to go to bed..... just fall onto the bed with my clothes on...and sleep, for hours.

So sensative. Everyone. All of it. Everything is heightened.

I had a talk with God last week about wanting a glass of wine. I really wanted one. I am SO good ALL the time...it feels boring to me only when I get tired and get off balance. I was in the store and asked if I could PLEASE have just one, (yes, like a whining three year old, I admit) and 'they' said 'no'. And that little piece of myself which was exhausted (and very off balance) and not listening to my own advise, said back, I think I am going to anyways. I bought the wine, brought it home, put it on the top shelf above the cabinets where the wine lives.....went into the other room and heard a crash! Yes, somehow, (and we know how) the bottle fell forward (physically impossible) and broke dishes on the way to the counter and the floor, over two rugs, white tablecloth, dining room chairs, white counters...and did I mention it was deep red wine? And I said 'you could have just said no', and they said 'we did'. And I spent over an hour picking it up, cleaning it up, washing and bleaching it off the white counters, glass everywhere. Threw out both rugs, It was quite a bold statement even coming from the non physical realm. (They thought it was funny.)

Sometimes being an intuitive, clairvoyant, minister, guide.......has days that are exhausting. Voices, statements of intentions, of pure goodness.......guidance; all day long. All day, every day, knowing what any one person is feeling towards you...imagine. Knowing the moment you say something that offends another and you can feel them retreat. I know how my clients feel. Sometimes, they just don't want to hear it. I get it. Sometimes I just don't want to hear it either - even though I know 'they' are right.  I know that the 'they' I speak, no matter how you define it, all-ways has my and your best interest in mind. I know, that the world is all-ways collaborating on my and your behalf - all-ways.

I wonder what it is like to have a life where one has a degree in something linear, which tells you how to best do what you are doing. To have a job where there is a book, rules, guidelines - proven before, from which to use. Where one can turn to page 101 and find the answer. I wonder what it is like to say, oh, I read this and it is fact. To depend on what another has done, rather than what is flowing through you at any given moment. To even believe in fact must be a huge relief in this world. It has to be, people believe in them even when they do not work. I cannot even imagine. Even my concept of fact is not accepted in this linear world. Everyday, every thing I believe in is challenged. Every day. 

And every day I challenge another's idea of fact. I wonder what a day would be like to simply stop trying to define, and just be.

I joke with freinds about getting a job in a bakery and serving bagels with a smile at four am every day....but I know me, I'd hear someones dead mother giving them a message and I'd have to reach across the counter, tell them - and then I'd get fired. From a bagel shop.

Lately, there has been so much love pouring through emails - and then, SO much naught. So much complaining and fear based attitudes. The fear is gearing up, it already has geared up and it is out in force. Those who know love, stand strong. It is our time.

Waves of change through brilliant intelligence and awareness are upon us. (BIG TIME!) Several to take place this year, 2012.  All our fears and frailties. We humans. Wow - we know we chose this; but really?

Having to stand up against the fear - having to be in love at all times; well, it is not a human course. It is the job of God - of that Divine Holiness. That non-physicalness of life which when we listen does speak to us. I tell all my clients if we listen we better take action on what they say - that is why so many come to me - but what kind of teacher am I if I don't listen? Oh, yeah, human.

Quantum Vulnerability

Oriah Moutain Dreamer (excellent books !) sent a blurb out on FB about her recent FB comment being misunderstood by readers, and how she practiced NOT commenting back, through the art of detachment, and how she found herself being in all that drama. Her practice was very familiar to me; yet my take on it is different.

When we speak or write and then others comment to us, and we feel we are NOT understood in the exact framework we meant it to be; human frustration can arise. I learned a very long time ago, that was a never ending gerbil wheel of exhaustion and if one is going to be a giver / sharer of  teachings of any kind - or even a human being, another viewpoint about communion was necessary.

(The moment you have a conversation you are in co-munion with another heart. The moment you enter outside yourself; you are co-munning with life. The moment you give of yourself; whatever it is, is received in comunion with another heart.)

I walk the path of detachment in my life and work and purpose. I do not think of myself as a teacher in the traditional sense; for I believe we are each our own teacher. Not thinking of myself as a teacher allows me to speak, explain, offer, give; and then let go and allow the comments, ideas or analogies to "land" if they will. I use this word often, for that is what I believe our words do, they 'land' within another persons energy field. And then, perhaps in conflict with the givers ego; they can become something unlike the giver was offering. The moment we speak, write, present, give anything - it take on a life of its own. We can each share, but what the receiver does with it is up to them.

Yesterday I submitted my first play to a festival. I have been a closet writer of novels, poetry, shorts and plays since high school. The act of actually sending it out, letting it go, allowing anothers eyes to view it; well, it is much like letting your child go to college. The moment anything leaves our hearts to be viewed, read, heard, seen by another; the thing itself changes.

As I hit the send button I thought; I have to direct it so they get it right; but then, my higher much smarter more unconditional wiser self jumped in; but, another heart, another set of eyes; the excitement of what another individual could bring to the table, how another would influx a word, or see a movement, or input an emotion; would create something different. I find that exciting, collaborative and 'right'. 

The act of allowing others in, produces vulnerabilty and THAT is an opportunity for self teaching at it very, very best! 

The moment an artist lets go of their work, it becomes something different than it was while in their hallowed midst. The second it hangs in another room, is viewed by another heart; the work itself changes.

The same is true of our conversations. The moment we speak and allow another to hear our thoughts; the meaning of the words we were speaking become something different when heard by another person. Because of this, I stopped a LONG LONG time ago; writing for others, speaking to impress others, trying to make a point to others. In that context, the gerbil wheel evolves into a mammoth carnival ride of ego against ego.

Create so your own heart feels it. Write so your heart is moved. Speak words which move your emotional life up the scale of this journey. Allow the teacher who you are, to pay attention to your favorite and truly only student; yourself. And KNOW  that  if and when any gift comes from the heart, is authentic and true; it will only do good, create love, be moved and received in joy. Another words, give from your heart, not your ego. Give from love, not from fear.

In Love, Deborah

Celebrations & Rituals

Last week my husband was watching the tribute to (the closing of) Shay Stadium in NY - I believe it took place a few years ago, yet the show held me spellbound. Not because Billy Joel was so good, but because he was so thrilled to be there - his authenticity, love and humbleness poured out of him. The intentions of the performance were palpable, then Paul McCartney getting there in record time because an entire team of souls came together from the stadium to the police, to the airport - made it happen.

The moment that got me, was when the entire, packed soul to soul stadium sang back to Billy Joel HIS own song. He sat there at his piano, tears, sweat, awe - looking at the sea of humanity singing TO HIM, his own song. I tell you, that was an amazing moment, to be in the audience had to be life changing.

What a celebration. What an extraordinary ritual. The memory for all those thousands of people who were there that night will be the JOY of the love, the excitement of the work and accomplishments of the evening - that is their final and first thought of their beloved original stadium.

Change. The most natural aspect of life. Rituals allow for us to have a different memory. All of our celebrations invoke a chord of joy, of gratitude; no matter the occasion.

In marriage, even if the wedding was difficult to plan, even if there were family feuds, misunderstandings, exhaustion.......the actual day and moment are what is remembered, is what is the most recent memory and therefore the vibration which is remembered and felt.

At funerals and memorials, no matter the pain and deep loss; the celebration of the life which was lived, which effected others; is what is honored, remembered and is the energetic vibration which you are left with.  The love felt when others grieve with us and celebrate with us can be more powerful and can overcome the pain of loss. The loss cannot and should never be forgotten, but the most tender and loving and positive memories the future is built on can be those of the life celebration itself.

If a pregnancy is difficult, but the welcoming of new life in the form of a naming, or christening or other ritual can be the memory from which one moves forward with.

Rituals of all kinds, types, sizes and intentions are powerful  beyond description. They connect us to the great mystery, to the non physical life. The feelings that we have, the feelings we experience are who we are. Our feelings, in every moment, create where we will be perceiving from in the next moment.

We all know of the experience of a difficult death - and then there is the life celebration of honoring, sharing, crying and laughing and parts of us are healed through those experiences. Our memories can shift from the painful burdens to the love. The love is what always survives. The love always is there.

The New Year ritual allows souls to begin again, to feel the freshness of a clean slate. A birthday party welcomes us to feel renewed, to move forward, to let go of perhaps a year which was not our easiest. The coming of age rituals allow families to let go of a child and welcome a young woman or man. A ritual allows our selves to step into new roles through support of family and friends.  Through ritual our hearts gain a new understanding of any situation, to see with new eyes.

The intentions of any ritual cleanses us of the old and welcomes the new.

Creating ritual is a power-filled and substantial process which can change your interior tremendously and therefore your life feels, looks and is different.