Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The Light of Magic

If I could only have one dream, one prayer, one desire - it would be and is - may no one ever miss the magic.

This season of light constantly reminds us of magic. The awe in faces of all  ages when in darkness and light appears is a daily breath of joy. Watching a community tree lighting, or a Jew lighting their menorah for Hanukah each evening, or children seeing the Christmas tree go on or even myself, at 59, rising early and lighting the holiday tree in the dark living room and sitting, and being, in the wonder of the Light.

When my mother in law had Alzheimer's my husband and I would drive her each evening (for it was always new to her & therefore, constant authentic joy!)  around the neighborhood to see the holiday lights. It was quite extravagant, in suburban Boston, to see the multi lit cull-de-sacs, the reindeer, Santa Clauses of all sizes, the colors, the whites, the blinking, the trees! It was a feast for the soul. This drive conjured up the feeling of pure magic, in each of us.

I have given much thought to the words light and magic this season. How important the word Light is - we use it in so many different manners - and all good, all positive, all beneficial. Light emerges from the darkness. Lightness makes graceful the burdens. The Light of God. Walk Lightly. Tread Lightly. Light as in weight, Light as  in God, Light as in the Sun, Light as in to see, Star Light, Light, Light, Light.

And Magic!! The Magi, the magic of the Season, Magical. I ask this often; do you believe in Magic? Is a miracle the outcome, the effect of magic?   And does it take Light to create a miracle, is Light the juju for magic?

And what exactly is magic.al? The relief of our burdens? The moment when we can breathe again? Pure joy emanating from our hearts? God tears in our eyes?

Magic for me is the same as a miracle; that which I cannot do myself. That which I alone cannot create. That which I know God did, my angels performed, Divine Intervention was the cause......that which happens as I pray, that which feels like soul food, that which breaks my heart wide open and it feels good! It can be a moment - it can be a evening. It can be with a random stranger or no one else is in the room. BUT, there is a deep knowing, that other than human logic was at work; and those moments, those breaths, those experiences - I want these for everyone.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Divine Anticipation!

One of the many things I find humorous on this planet earth is communication. I so understand why words do not work. I yearn for the non verbal, thought only communicant of the 'other side'. (I expect that to be much more clear!) One of the other aspects of this in body trip is how I think I have clearly and rather well, I might add, communicated my beliefs and thoughts around a subject and the  BAHM!  My more than words can say 'loved Beloveds' address me in a personal heartfelt note/email and I can see; I failed. Or I most certainly missed the mark I meant to convey. So, I am humbled to send this what I pray will clarify my intentions of my previous blog(which I thought was SO good!1??!! - ha-ha on me) to everyone. Because, I do know we are in this as One, and that if two of my closest congregants did not read my intention clearly, there probably are more of you out there. AND I REALLY want you to hear this.

For me, the issue is, I want you to hear what I am feeling. I am feeling excited at the prospect of what next! I am feeling that this HUGE shift we are each in the midst of is EXCITING! I am feeling we are all standing at the cusp of greatness, of the Golden Age - and there is NOTHING to do. ...just be in it and seek your joy.

The loving, sweet email responses to my previous post I received were so beautiful and had so much love and caring in them, my heart was purring. Beloveds apologized for not being able to send money, to how I can do my work to get more clients & exposure, to support groups, etc. ALL and every suggestion ONLY from their love and respect for me and I am deeply blessed by them.

What I was trying to say was, the letting go of, the knowing a cycle of anything is done, over, complete; is not a bad, need to fix, do it better, different, other thing. I am not hanging on. I am in awe of this change. Throughout my ministry I have always known and believed God sends people to me. If God wants a soul to find me; they do. This huge and abrupt shift is a gift from God which has not yet been unwrapped! I know this because I know the many who have been influenced and inspired by this ministry. I know for a fact that if God wanted me to serve others in the way I have been for many years; I would be doing that right now, as often as I have been for the several years. This is not a place of fear my friends; it is a space of Divine anticipation. My life has shown me over and over again; when one door closes, a LARGER and GREATER door awaits; ALL-WAYS. Through my (almost) 60 years around the sun, I have learned through many humbling experiences, that it is not about doing something right, or being good, or anything like that; there is no judgment - everything has a cycle of life. It is nature. Relationships do not always end because there is a wrong, a bad, a fault;  in fact, when we are brutally honest with ourselves, we wanted it to end, we questioned it, we let doubt enter the building; and then things became difficult - and then we blame the difficulty - rather than admit, I really was done. Did I question my counseling/healing work at any point before this door closed? Yes, I did.

Because my personal healing & counseling practice literally stopped; clients canceled, people who owed me never sent checks, appointments went from an average of 20 - 30 hours a week to none - three; I then wrote a year end letter to my Beloveds to check in and see IF there was still a calling for this/my work. My inquiry was not a call for help; but an opportunity to see if this way of being in my life was still desired by enough people for it to be supported.  I have seen that there is not enough support, enough of a desire. This is good information. This does not disappoint me, does not make me fear; it allows me to say okay. To know that I, as in me, has done all I know to do spiritually, prayerfully and on the linear plane to create this ministry; then I am able to let go of any fear around the releasing of it. What do I really want? Where I am truly?  The truth is, it will never be a full release, because I am always serving God first in my heart, from my life, as my life; it is all I know. But what does change, is where I place my intentions, my energy and I am able to release any holds/cords; all in order for God to have a better, easier, more graceful way of redirecting me to where I am to be now.

Thank you each, you know who you are, for your beautiful, love filled emails. Instead of personal emails, I wrote this response, so all can share. We are in this together my friends. My life is amazing. I am and have been so richly blessed, it floors me, brings me to my knees on all the many diverse riches God has bestowed upon me. I know I am in Gods favor - as we all are; but we must let go of fear and anticipate abundance of all kinds in order for this to manifest. And this experience my friends, is done through our faith, our hearts & our being-ness;  not our doing-ness.

'Thank you Mother, Father, God for this incredibly amazing day of love and abundance. May I feel Your every direction, Your every nudge, Your every lead. May I let go of the old and allow  renewal to fill every cell of my body; for the greater is yet to come!'

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Time of Restoration

These are new times. It appears things are falling apart, becoming outdated as quickly as we say yes to it, old ways of being, previous interests, that which we are/were hooked into; are no longer working. During the past ten years or so, many have written about old paradigms falling away, no longer working constructs, institutions of longevity no longer functioning, serving or being purposeful - and now we are living it personally. We are standing in the midst of volatile personal change: shedding, detaching, peeling, molting, reformation, letting go of, overhauling, improvement, rectification. The word which has been brought to my attention is 'restorative'. Restorative meaning recuperative and renewal.  Eventually, after a time of upheaval; soothing, invigorating and uplifting will emerge. But first comes the draining facet; where many souls are right now.

Where there is change, if we hold on to old paradigms it is draining. It is the old; hold on and get pulled or let go and ride the wave! Our government is the perfect example of this truth. It is a law of nature. Life is change. That which worked for us years ago, may not work for us now. That which even worked yesterday, may not be positive for us today. Nothing is stagnant. Nothing. There is life  force, God force in all things - and IT is always moving, growing, expanding, releasing, becoming something different than it just was.

The phrase 'let go and let God' has never, in my life, been more relevant. Since I was a child I knew I had to let God handle it. No matter what IT was. I first had this six year old epiphany sitting in between my parents on a cold seat of an original wooden pew at the Second Congregational Church in West Boxford, MA; as the passionate minister was displaying his evangelistic tone with hands raised and black flowing fabric moving rapidly from his arms - his demeanor appeared out of character for this sedate group of New Englanders (and I liked him very much)  - but the view through my child like eyes was that no one else was moving, my mother sat very staid & erect to my right, in a perfect years of modeling back straight mode, not moving her head for fear her magnificent hat would fall; I assumed. Yet my father not only was staid, but asleep. And the entire congregation knew it; for he snored like a mac truck. It was my job to let him sleep, but when he made a gurgling, sinus like, too loud people are starring at us noise; to nudge him, as to not embarrass himself ( or my mother). After several nudges I realized; God, this is up to you. If I fell asleep, I'd be in real trouble!

One of very best gifts we can offer one another is our honesty without self judgment. For years we have each worked on not judging others. We have listened to ourselves through the still small voices of the nasty guides speaking internal comments - which we would never confess to out loud. But now, now is the time to speak our truth without self incrimination, without making ourselves wrong or right, without passing a good or bad, should or could have flag on our own lives. We have worked at being unconditional to and with others; and now, the call is, we MUST be unconditional with our selves as well.

Being a person people confess to and share their fears with is always a sensitive space to hold; one I have been honored to be in. Holding others as they die, comforting families, discussing why suicide, seeing yet another person with cancer, hearing of the death of a child, the struggles of our young men, the pain of being a teenager, the unraveling of marriages, the ideas of what some people do to others, the idea of abuse, emotional turmoil and the list is some days down right infinite. During the holidays is traditionally a challenging time for many. Our emotional baggage is on display for others and our selves to see. Our pains and our joys are triggered with an immensity beyond our human intelligence. Our hearts are opened through the love which embraces our world during this season of darkness and light. And now, in this time of our human journey, we are seeing from the inside out, rather than witnessing the pain and joy of others, many are feeling the lifelong journeys of their own souls discomfort, here in this human body. What worked for us for years, as in jobs, purpose, work - and what we thought were our desires, our dreams, our needs and our wants; is all disintegrating,  dismantling, draining away from us, through us; preparing us for new.

I deeply believe we are in this thing called Life together; and we need one another. I recently read an analogy of each person being a drop of God - and like a symphony, each singular instrument is lovely; but together they are a breathtaking sound of glorious majesty! We each are drops of Godness, and as we come together in this journey we become more than we were apart. When we find love, we are more in partnership through commitment than we were alone. I do believe this is why people seek love of another, rather desperately at times; in order to become more with more Godness, than they were without it. We who love God, who have personal relationships with God know of this love. We know that when we sit in the quiet of a room, void of distraction of our humanness; we can become aware of God, of the greatness of the universal Life force of Love - and it can redeem us - it can rejuvenate us to a state of peace. We who are aware of the love of God know this when we sing out loud in praise & worship. We who know the love of God know this in the quiet moments of holding space for another soul as they leave their human body and travel home to God. When you know the love of God a precious moment of that love can take place at the grocery store, with a stranger asking for help, with a gift of a few dollars to another human in need, or when you watch a child see the magic of the holidays. God is in all things at all times; it happens everywhere. ...that moment, that breath of joy when all else falls way. When we know the love of God through an undeniable and unexplainable faith; one knows that the human spirit is God stuff goodness; and we prevail.

My favorite book of the Bible has always been REVELATIONS. The symbolism is grand, the story of good vs. evil is played out in a movie like largeness, with drama and leading roles. Rainbows, seven seals, seven angels, crystals, jasper, carnelian, emerald, trumpets, seas, 24 white robed elders and fire.  As I look at the bible as the spiritual allegory for mans journey, I have always seen the final book as the crème de la crème. What this book supports for me is that our human journey, no matter how painful, how difficult, how challenging; is worth it.

So, here we are. Some of us like myself, having had work we loved for 30 or more years and all of sudden, it stopped. Ceased. With no human explanation. Obviously something greater than i at work here. So here we are, like myself, with dreams and intentions not being seen after having done everything one knows to do. So here we are, like myself, having asked for support but not receiving it in the way I had imagined. So here we are; letting go of the old, or rather watching it through our faith in that which has not yet been revealed be removed from our lives; and trusting. Trusting the journey of renewal; of letting the old go by, creating space for the new. Trusting - that when the molting, releasing, peeling away of previous and present personal constructs is complete;  we shall be at PEACE; made new, restored.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Time of Emergence

Advent. Some refer to it as the time of emergence. It is a most beautiful time of year. My favorite. From the light of the oil lamp, to the light of the Christ, to the light of birth, to the winter solstice; we celebrate renewal. And is that not what we do every day; renew? Our faith gives us the insight to continually renew our selves, our lives and our days.

The meaning of the weeks and candles are different depending on who you speak with; here we use the Christian traditional candles.

Advent is made up of the four Sundays prior to Christmas Day. Traditionally, the first week is known as prophecy - it is explained by words like anticipation, expectation. Do you ever feel that? You have a new idea, a desire and your mind, heart and body can be filled with anticipation....., visceral, physical, emotional.........waiting for it to be seen, revealed in your experience? The second week is known as LOVE. I often think of how after we have had a wonderful idea, have planted a seed of thought; we need to love it, nourish it, to help it grow. Between the second and third week I believe we gain clarity. When we love, and sit with that, wisdom blesses us and we can choose; this or that? After clarity we march into - the third week of JOY - sometimes called the Shepherds' Candle, joy is what we feel as we watch the idea grow. We may see how God is bringing all our ducks in a row, bring us all which we need, want, in order to harvest our dream. This tells and assures us we have aligned with the consciousness of the Christ. It is a joyful process! During this time we stand in awe of Gods Grace & Goodness. The fourth week is the PEACE candle, perhaps known as the angel candle. When we know our dream is right here, so close, almost touchable...when our intention is being revealed; we allow our selves to be at peace, the peace which passeth all understanding. The final week is the center, Christ candle. The celebration of the birth, the revelation, the manifestation.

I do not believe there is right or wrong flow to these ideas. PEACE may be your second week - finding and settling into that inner upper room in order help the seeds to manifest.  For me this is about much more than the order of the candles. This represents the Law of God.

The law that what we ask for, we will see. The law that what we pay attention to grows. The law and teaching that we must find and be at inner peace in order to see our dreams manifest. The laws which state that Joy is a gift from God and that Love is the great nurturer of all things. When I light the final Christ candle, for me it is not about the birth of the Christ child; but about the birth of Christ through and as us - as we become and merge with our faith, the Christ vibration fills us and we have revealed in our lives; joy. In our lives; LIGHT!

PEACE - WILD ANTICIPATION - JOYFUL PRESENCE - LOVE; The Christ.

PROPHECY - ANGELS - SHEPERDING - PEACE; The Christ.

The Christ;  LOVE - PEACE - JOYFUL Sound - EXPECTING GRACE!

Any order, any time. any day, any thing.

Blessed Season of Light to you & yours.
Rev. Deborah Evans Hogan