Oriah Moutain Dreamer (excellent books !) sent a blurb out on FB about her recent FB comment being misunderstood by readers, and how she practiced NOT commenting back, through the art of detachment, and how she found herself being in all that drama. Her practice was very familiar to me; yet my take on it is different.
When we speak or write and then others comment to us, and we feel we are NOT understood in the exact framework we meant it to be; human frustration can arise. I learned a very long time ago, that was a never ending gerbil wheel of exhaustion and if one is going to be a giver / sharer of teachings of any kind - or even a human being, another viewpoint about communion was necessary.
(The moment you have a conversation you are in co-munion with another heart. The moment you enter outside yourself; you are co-munning with life. The moment you give of yourself; whatever it is, is received in comunion with another heart.)
I walk the path of detachment in my life and work and purpose. I do not think of myself as a teacher in the traditional sense; for I believe we are each our own teacher. Not thinking of myself as a teacher allows me to speak, explain, offer, give; and then let go and allow the comments, ideas or analogies to "land" if they will. I use this word often, for that is what I believe our words do, they 'land' within another persons energy field. And then, perhaps in conflict with the givers ego; they can become something unlike the giver was offering. The moment we speak, write, present, give anything - it take on a life of its own. We can each share, but what the receiver does with it is up to them.
Yesterday I submitted my first play to a festival. I have been a closet writer of novels, poetry, shorts and plays since high school. The act of actually sending it out, letting it go, allowing anothers eyes to view it; well, it is much like letting your child go to college. The moment anything leaves our hearts to be viewed, read, heard, seen by another; the thing itself changes.
As I hit the send button I thought; I have to direct it so they get it right; but then, my higher much smarter more unconditional wiser self jumped in; but, another heart, another set of eyes; the excitement of what another individual could bring to the table, how another would influx a word, or see a movement, or input an emotion; would create something different. I find that exciting, collaborative and 'right'.
The act of allowing others in, produces vulnerabilty and THAT is an opportunity for self teaching at it very, very best!
The moment an artist lets go of their work, it becomes something different than it was while in their hallowed midst. The second it hangs in another room, is viewed by another heart; the work itself changes.
The same is true of our conversations. The moment we speak and allow another to hear our thoughts; the meaning of the words we were speaking become something different when heard by another person. Because of this, I stopped a LONG LONG time ago; writing for others, speaking to impress others, trying to make a point to others. In that context, the gerbil wheel evolves into a mammoth carnival ride of ego against ego.
Create so your own heart feels it. Write so your heart is moved. Speak words which move your emotional life up the scale of this journey. Allow the teacher who you are, to pay attention to your favorite and truly only student; yourself. And KNOW that if and when any gift comes from the heart, is authentic and true; it will only do good, create love, be moved and received in joy. Another words, give from your heart, not your ego. Give from love, not from fear.
In Love, Deborah
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Celebrations & Rituals
Last week my husband was watching the tribute to (the closing of) Shay Stadium in NY - I believe it took place a few years ago, yet the show held me spellbound. Not because Billy Joel was so good, but because he was so thrilled to be there - his authenticity, love and humbleness poured out of him. The intentions of the performance were palpable, then Paul McCartney getting there in record time because an entire team of souls came together from the stadium to the police, to the airport - made it happen.
The moment that got me, was when the entire, packed soul to soul stadium sang back to Billy Joel HIS own song. He sat there at his piano, tears, sweat, awe - looking at the sea of humanity singing TO HIM, his own song. I tell you, that was an amazing moment, to be in the audience had to be life changing.
What a celebration. What an extraordinary ritual. The memory for all those thousands of people who were there that night will be the JOY of the love, the excitement of the work and accomplishments of the evening - that is their final and first thought of their beloved original stadium.
Change. The most natural aspect of life. Rituals allow for us to have a different memory. All of our celebrations invoke a chord of joy, of gratitude; no matter the occasion.
In marriage, even if the wedding was difficult to plan, even if there were family feuds, misunderstandings, exhaustion.......the actual day and moment are what is remembered, is what is the most recent memory and therefore the vibration which is remembered and felt.
At funerals and memorials, no matter the pain and deep loss; the celebration of the life which was lived, which effected others; is what is honored, remembered and is the energetic vibration which you are left with. The love felt when others grieve with us and celebrate with us can be more powerful and can overcome the pain of loss. The loss cannot and should never be forgotten, but the most tender and loving and positive memories the future is built on can be those of the life celebration itself.
If a pregnancy is difficult, but the welcoming of new life in the form of a naming, or christening or other ritual can be the memory from which one moves forward with.
Rituals of all kinds, types, sizes and intentions are powerful beyond description. They connect us to the great mystery, to the non physical life. The feelings that we have, the feelings we experience are who we are. Our feelings, in every moment, create where we will be perceiving from in the next moment.
We all know of the experience of a difficult death - and then there is the life celebration of honoring, sharing, crying and laughing and parts of us are healed through those experiences. Our memories can shift from the painful burdens to the love. The love is what always survives. The love always is there.
The New Year ritual allows souls to begin again, to feel the freshness of a clean slate. A birthday party welcomes us to feel renewed, to move forward, to let go of perhaps a year which was not our easiest. The coming of age rituals allow families to let go of a child and welcome a young woman or man. A ritual allows our selves to step into new roles through support of family and friends. Through ritual our hearts gain a new understanding of any situation, to see with new eyes.
The intentions of any ritual cleanses us of the old and welcomes the new.
Creating ritual is a power-filled and substantial process which can change your interior tremendously and therefore your life feels, looks and is different.
The moment that got me, was when the entire, packed soul to soul stadium sang back to Billy Joel HIS own song. He sat there at his piano, tears, sweat, awe - looking at the sea of humanity singing TO HIM, his own song. I tell you, that was an amazing moment, to be in the audience had to be life changing.
What a celebration. What an extraordinary ritual. The memory for all those thousands of people who were there that night will be the JOY of the love, the excitement of the work and accomplishments of the evening - that is their final and first thought of their beloved original stadium.
Change. The most natural aspect of life. Rituals allow for us to have a different memory. All of our celebrations invoke a chord of joy, of gratitude; no matter the occasion.
In marriage, even if the wedding was difficult to plan, even if there were family feuds, misunderstandings, exhaustion.......the actual day and moment are what is remembered, is what is the most recent memory and therefore the vibration which is remembered and felt.
At funerals and memorials, no matter the pain and deep loss; the celebration of the life which was lived, which effected others; is what is honored, remembered and is the energetic vibration which you are left with. The love felt when others grieve with us and celebrate with us can be more powerful and can overcome the pain of loss. The loss cannot and should never be forgotten, but the most tender and loving and positive memories the future is built on can be those of the life celebration itself.
If a pregnancy is difficult, but the welcoming of new life in the form of a naming, or christening or other ritual can be the memory from which one moves forward with.
Rituals of all kinds, types, sizes and intentions are powerful beyond description. They connect us to the great mystery, to the non physical life. The feelings that we have, the feelings we experience are who we are. Our feelings, in every moment, create where we will be perceiving from in the next moment.
We all know of the experience of a difficult death - and then there is the life celebration of honoring, sharing, crying and laughing and parts of us are healed through those experiences. Our memories can shift from the painful burdens to the love. The love is what always survives. The love always is there.
The New Year ritual allows souls to begin again, to feel the freshness of a clean slate. A birthday party welcomes us to feel renewed, to move forward, to let go of perhaps a year which was not our easiest. The coming of age rituals allow families to let go of a child and welcome a young woman or man. A ritual allows our selves to step into new roles through support of family and friends. Through ritual our hearts gain a new understanding of any situation, to see with new eyes.
The intentions of any ritual cleanses us of the old and welcomes the new.
Creating ritual is a power-filled and substantial process which can change your interior tremendously and therefore your life feels, looks and is different.
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