Tuesday, November 26, 2013

day before Thanksgivng, why rush?

1:27 am, up since midnight. contemplating where everyone will sit Thursday. I had announced we were having a buffet and 20 souls could disperse at will around our rambling house. But now I am questioning my choice. I mean, how is that - togetherness?  It feels disjointed. So, in the wee hours of the day, I am rather enjoying being by myself in our old farmhouse, getting creative with make shift tables and where to put all the pies.

my point is, it is all good. I am not frazzled. I am enjoying the planning, the prep, the all of it. I am not in a hurry. this is new for me. only took 59 years to get here; and 40 years of hosting holidays. some of us are slower than others.

why do we rush so much? in the spiritual - meditative - prayerful - breathing deeply - yoga world we speak all the time, as the foundation for sanity with-in the chaos of this earth plane; to be present. there are so many ways to be this - so many facets of our lives within which we may practice. when we can tune down, slow down the interior race track on all things, our exterior will reflect this.

 I have thought about it for the last two months, as it appears daily in the outer world I am always 'slow' - when I looked for Halloween items, Thanksgiving was out; when I went to find Thanksgiving items, Christmas was out. At this pace, CVS and Home Goods should have Valentine's day out by December 15. We are each in such a hurry. The chaos of marketing pushes our buttons to get it all done now, first, before - get IT all done so fast, if you blink you'll miss the next holiday. And what about this Black Friday gimmick? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Friday_(shopping)

I thought about this today when a dear client, at the very youthful midst of her early twenties, shared frustration at not yet having her dream home, and feeling unwilling to compromise.

There is the disease of now. I find students and others, my old self included, can find the idea of manifestation and visioning seductive; so I can have, what I want, NOW.

But what about the ride? What about the journey? What about all the good, juicy, interesting things we can find about ourselves in the midst of dreaming? And what about knowing where we are is okay. And when we are okay where we are, it gets better and better. In a spiritual context when we are seeking outside, we are not where we are. And energetically, when we 'diss' where we are, we cannot attract where we want to be.

I made a deal with myself this year. No rushing. The dying mums are still outside by the front door. They will not be replaced by anything pretty, green and fresh until after Dec 1. This means my Thanksgiving guests are going to walk by dead plants.  Isn't that what fall is; the slow going within, the letting go, the dying of the old? Do we rush because what we see, where we are, is too unattractive to find any goodness in it? Or are we afraid we will miss the next best thing? Or that someone will 'beat us to it" - to what???!!! Or do we feel that our determination to manifest and create is a sign that we are good students of life, or status, or are we concerned of how we look to others?

I only know what I know for me. It has taken me many years to let go of my determination when it is going 'against' - and to embrace my fullness of being present with what is. I have learned that I will never get to B successfully, smoothly and abundantly until I am okay with A. I don't have to LOVE A - I can still have my dream of B - but I will always find some good in A......so I do not move too quickly through or even bypass and miss,  all the blessings this life has to offer me.