I am humbled by many of my clients - yet none so deeply as a young woman I have been working with for several months. Upon her most recent appointment, when asked what her intention was for this particular session, she answered; 'more happiness'.
The session proceeded to be immense. The gravity of the work was beyond - simply beyond. The amount of release from old ways was huge - the energetic largeness of the work was incredible - I swept and swept and moved and moved old cords, emotional baggage carried for lifetimes filled the room; heat, volume, density was undeniable. If there is an equivalent - several sessions in one, perhaps. I had no words - and neither did she.
Since that experience, I have contemplated the simple prayer of happiness. We can become so deliberate, focused and controlling over what we think God should be/do for us - we often can hear ourselves telling God what we think we should want or have. It came to me, that the more finite we are in our prayers; the less room there is for God.
When we can trust God with all our hearts, what more can there be to affirm, but happiness. I am happy. Today, I am happy. More happiness, God & thank you.
Such a simple prayer - such a beautifully naive and full opportunity to allow for the Creator to do Its creating in our lives.
I hope you will take time today to contemplate the idea of the simple prayer of 'more happiness.' - with relief in the trusting of Gods will.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Grandmother Wisdom
The past few weeks, month, year - have been at times, unruly. There are days when we feel we are being turned inside out - upheavel comes to mind. The world appears to be in crisis - and we are in its center. How do we flow, let it be, allow for the Light?
Yesterday morning, the 19th, I awoke a new. Be that it is Spring, Easter, Passover - all of this and more - it all feels quite signifcant. The recent fool moon tore away at us all our relationship 'garbage'. It provoked and allowed us to see ourselves in relationship, how we sound, how we are, how we react, respond, act. Grandmother Moon allowed for the great and glorious strength of Grandmother Spider to enhance our souls - to dance its web throughout our thoughts and lead us to its center. This moon also held the Light and Power for us to see and let go of all negativty we speak of. Like a waterfall our own negative words come to the surface and we see our wounds and ask the Wisdom of the Grandmothers to bless us. Grandmother wisdom can wrap around our souls and allow the Divine Feminine to step to the front and center in our being.
As I was given the blessings of this wisdom, I heard my own voice of annoyance, of aggravation - my ego view of the male energies - as I stepped into the initiation of the Grandmother wisdom I saw lack perceptions leave, I knew I no longer would feed my soul with what had in the past been fuel for my expansion. My heart opened to a new fullness of the Divine Feminine, to the intuit of our world.
If it caused me annoyance or aggravation it may no longer be part of my journey. I had to forgive myself for feeding my heart such draining experiences. I acknowledge how the journey into was driven by these forces and without them I would not be here. There is an odd and joyous revelation to the path we come to know which in itself is Holy in all its humanly perceived negativity.
I no longer dance with annoyance or aggravation. My partner is the wisdom of the Grandmother, the Grace of Spider Medicine. The web is woven through our hearts - connecting, circling, enhancing the qualities of loving what is and leaving all else alone.
http://www.animalspirits.com/index11.html
with great love, Deborah
Yesterday morning, the 19th, I awoke a new. Be that it is Spring, Easter, Passover - all of this and more - it all feels quite signifcant. The recent fool moon tore away at us all our relationship 'garbage'. It provoked and allowed us to see ourselves in relationship, how we sound, how we are, how we react, respond, act. Grandmother Moon allowed for the great and glorious strength of Grandmother Spider to enhance our souls - to dance its web throughout our thoughts and lead us to its center. This moon also held the Light and Power for us to see and let go of all negativty we speak of. Like a waterfall our own negative words come to the surface and we see our wounds and ask the Wisdom of the Grandmothers to bless us. Grandmother wisdom can wrap around our souls and allow the Divine Feminine to step to the front and center in our being.
As I was given the blessings of this wisdom, I heard my own voice of annoyance, of aggravation - my ego view of the male energies - as I stepped into the initiation of the Grandmother wisdom I saw lack perceptions leave, I knew I no longer would feed my soul with what had in the past been fuel for my expansion. My heart opened to a new fullness of the Divine Feminine, to the intuit of our world.
If it caused me annoyance or aggravation it may no longer be part of my journey. I had to forgive myself for feeding my heart such draining experiences. I acknowledge how the journey into was driven by these forces and without them I would not be here. There is an odd and joyous revelation to the path we come to know which in itself is Holy in all its humanly perceived negativity.
I no longer dance with annoyance or aggravation. My partner is the wisdom of the Grandmother, the Grace of Spider Medicine. The web is woven through our hearts - connecting, circling, enhancing the qualities of loving what is and leaving all else alone.
http://www.animalspirits.com/index11.html
with great love, Deborah
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
100 % Responsibility
My Aries fire has been lit up lately, as it has been universally, causing all our individual ‘stuff’ to be brought to the surface like rockets going off. The undertones of anger are immense and the laughter of freedom from previous density is often. It is amazing, exhausting and encouraging witnessing the effects of our planet shifting into a full 5th dimensional civilization.
In the midst of this journey which is giving an opportunity for our vulnerabilities to surface, I see one of my greatest flaws; it is that I assume.
I assume one knows this, or one is coming from here or one presently understands such and such. We all know what ‘assume’ means, and it gets me into uncomfortable spots. I do not like beginning at the beginning – I prefer to take off from where I am at – but I all too often forget, others may not be on the same page and yes, I am not on their page either. This can cause either painful communication breakdowns as well as heightened awareness and love brought about through joining together in the humor of the separation itself.
I have witnessed my assuming experience in high volume this past week. I have been at fault (or at love, depending on your perception!) for assuming souls were at a similar spiritual space as I, assuming others all ready were living from The Law of Creative Presence, the Law which expresses to us the great mirror of reflection – empowering us to take 100 % responsibility for our lives. Since I have found myself in this space of awkwardness and assumption, it feels like a perfect time to share the meaning, practice and awareness of 100 % responsibility and what this means – for that Is the core of the teachings, guidance & foundation of The Amethyst Light Ministry.
Like many ministers, I have given several Sunday sermons on ‘forgiveness’. The verbiage and message are based from my personal life experience of being brought up in an alcoholic home with many empty spaces, addictions, fears and obsessions. The sermon message is; I am not responsible for what another does; but I am fully responsible for how I respond, act and be in any situation. I also had learned that one can never run away from what is ours to grow from. (One may say lesson here, but I do not like that. Lesson sounds as if one is a child and has to pass such and such…) We each come here with the same purpose; to learn to love. In this purpose, we each choose life plots in order to open our hearts to unconditional love. Some learn thru abuse, others thru personal addiction, illness, others thru relationships, perhaps love, success, wealth, poverty, etc.
In order for a soul to grow through and into love, God asks of us to believe/do two things:
1. Own our choice to be in this expereince.
Many hear this and react with, ‘you blame me for this? You think I chose this? This is them doing it, not me’.
I believe we choose life themes/paths prior to coming here into this incarnation. I believe that we are constantly choosing and creating through our beliefs and that we can make a shift from creating unconsciously to creating consciously through our individual use of The Law (of God, Attraction, Creativity.)
How did I draw this experience into my reality?
A button is pushed – anger rises; uncomfortable-ness is the feeling, hurt, fear, and angst – a button is pushed. The understanding of The Law teaches us we have a wound which has been re-opened, scraped, touched, bruised once again, in other wards, shown to us – when a button is pushed. This is OUR wound, not theirs – they are the messenger only – we say thank you for exposing this to me again, showing me this is still part of my vibrational field and now I CAN DO my work around this which is crying out to be whole.
When finding one’s self in a situation of discomfort, in order to move through it and beyond it, we need only take responsibility for having chosen it. I chose it before I came here or I chose it unconsciously by my beliefs, or I chose it because my old wound is not yet healed and it is pretty loud and showing itself to me once again – I chose it.
Through faith in God we can see our way through any situation. It is in seeing our way through an experience, not around it, that an alignment of love is possible. If we leave a relationship or experience before we align with love and gratitude within our lives for the experience, we will meet up with it again and again – same plot, new players.
In having faith in The Law, ‘so above, as below/as within, without’ - we are then empowered through owning our conscious or unconscious choice to be in a particular experience.
When one does not take responsibility for an experience they fall victim to another person or experience and then their ability to act, choose or heal is not available to them.
This action of 100% responsibility does not make a horrible experience good, or a terrible experience better, or an uncomfortable experience less uncomfortable. IT DOES however allow us the room to appreciate seeing it with more clarity and asking; what is mine to do here? Owning our choice here allows us to not be angry at the other, but to say thank you for playing this role in my life that I can know my strength, my power, my faith, my ability to forgive, to love and/or to feel.
2. To own our responsibility before we leave the situation.
Here is the key – to own it before we leave, walk, slam a door, bolt, say good bye, run away or quit. If not, we leave a situation before we can forgive, be grateful for it, appreciate where it brought us and we miss an ( not THE only) opportunity to heal the wound.
Yes, one can leave and do the work afterwards; but the fact is, The Law will continually bring you into similar situations in order for you to be fully present in the midst of them and to ride the wave through them; into love.
As others have pointed out, does this mean you want me to stay in an abusive situation just to get the lesson?
No, I want you to understand The Law, make it work FOR you, so you can stand fully present and see what is yours to see, shift what is yours to shift within you, in order to move forward more empowered, more loving and less a victim to your own wounds.
Because I grew into a young mindless adult coming from the home I came from, I married yet another version of my parents. My wound called us forward. It was perfect! It had to get worse, before I grew spiritually enough for it to get better; but it got better than ever! I reached a space in my heart where I am so grateful to the souls who were my parents, for all their addictions, dysfunctions and conditional loving – without them I would not be who I am; and for that I know I am eternally grateful. Forgiveness to myself for choosing such a path! – forgiveness to the souls who were my parents, my first husband; for having had to have them be the people they were, so I could become I who I wanted to be -- gratitude all over the place! Forgiveness and joy!
Can you see how the most challenging of your situations is simply the same exact opportunity over and over again? If you can see this, try this:
1. Vision your soul, a presence of energy.
2. Imagine a spiral going around it, beginning at the (your feet) bottom, heading upwards, a perfect spiral, getting smaller, tighter as it elevates to a peak above your head.
3. The beginning is your birth in this carnation.
4. The peak is your God Realization Union.
5. In the bottom part of the spiral see a situation, experiences and the way you handled them. Watch as the spiral moves upward…..all the time you growing spiritually, becoming more enlightened…..and similar situations happening…..and you moving through them with a bit more ease and grace each time…….
6. Until above the center of the spiral you handle an issue of ego, of love, of illness, of abuse, of victimhood, of addiction; with 100 % responsibility.
7. You will no longer need to have that type, that theme of an experience.
I want this sharing to support you know than you know. Every one of you, who has ever been upset with me for saying 100 % responsibility, thank you. Because of you, I am sharing this. My prayer and intention is I know someone is going to benefit from this writing. In my years of spiritual practice, as a seeker, minister, counselor, healer and teacher; I have witnessed hundreds of souls raise themselves from personal pain and restriction through understanding The Law and creating through taking 100 % responsibility for their role in the play of their life.
With big love, Deborah
In the midst of this journey which is giving an opportunity for our vulnerabilities to surface, I see one of my greatest flaws; it is that I assume.
I assume one knows this, or one is coming from here or one presently understands such and such. We all know what ‘assume’ means, and it gets me into uncomfortable spots. I do not like beginning at the beginning – I prefer to take off from where I am at – but I all too often forget, others may not be on the same page and yes, I am not on their page either. This can cause either painful communication breakdowns as well as heightened awareness and love brought about through joining together in the humor of the separation itself.
I have witnessed my assuming experience in high volume this past week. I have been at fault (or at love, depending on your perception!) for assuming souls were at a similar spiritual space as I, assuming others all ready were living from The Law of Creative Presence, the Law which expresses to us the great mirror of reflection – empowering us to take 100 % responsibility for our lives. Since I have found myself in this space of awkwardness and assumption, it feels like a perfect time to share the meaning, practice and awareness of 100 % responsibility and what this means – for that Is the core of the teachings, guidance & foundation of The Amethyst Light Ministry.
100 % responsibility is birthed of unconditional love for ones self and humankind.
Like many ministers, I have given several Sunday sermons on ‘forgiveness’. The verbiage and message are based from my personal life experience of being brought up in an alcoholic home with many empty spaces, addictions, fears and obsessions. The sermon message is; I am not responsible for what another does; but I am fully responsible for how I respond, act and be in any situation. I also had learned that one can never run away from what is ours to grow from. (One may say lesson here, but I do not like that. Lesson sounds as if one is a child and has to pass such and such…) We each come here with the same purpose; to learn to love. In this purpose, we each choose life plots in order to open our hearts to unconditional love. Some learn thru abuse, others thru personal addiction, illness, others thru relationships, perhaps love, success, wealth, poverty, etc.
In order for a soul to grow through and into love, God asks of us to believe/do two things:
1. Own our choice to be in this expereince.
Many hear this and react with, ‘you blame me for this? You think I chose this? This is them doing it, not me’.
I believe we choose life themes/paths prior to coming here into this incarnation. I believe that we are constantly choosing and creating through our beliefs and that we can make a shift from creating unconsciously to creating consciously through our individual use of The Law (of God, Attraction, Creativity.)
The Law is the great mirror. We draw to us - as we witness our exterior we need only look within to see how and why it is present.
How did I draw this experience into my reality?
A button is pushed – anger rises; uncomfortable-ness is the feeling, hurt, fear, and angst – a button is pushed. The understanding of The Law teaches us we have a wound which has been re-opened, scraped, touched, bruised once again, in other wards, shown to us – when a button is pushed. This is OUR wound, not theirs – they are the messenger only – we say thank you for exposing this to me again, showing me this is still part of my vibrational field and now I CAN DO my work around this which is crying out to be whole.
As I do my work, as I open to a clearer alignment with God, with unconditional love -- bridges to wholeness are created, my vibration is raised, freedom is Spirits gift to an a awareness of love.
When finding one’s self in a situation of discomfort, in order to move through it and beyond it, we need only take responsibility for having chosen it. I chose it before I came here or I chose it unconsciously by my beliefs, or I chose it because my old wound is not yet healed and it is pretty loud and showing itself to me once again – I chose it.
As I seek within myself and see my beliefs, my stories - I choose to change them through forgiveness, acceptance and compassion.
In having faith in The Law, ‘so above, as below/as within, without’ - we are then empowered through owning our conscious or unconscious choice to be in a particular experience.
When one does not take responsibility for an experience they fall victim to another person or experience and then their ability to act, choose or heal is not available to them.
This action of 100% responsibility does not make a horrible experience good, or a terrible experience better, or an uncomfortable experience less uncomfortable. IT DOES however allow us the room to appreciate seeing it with more clarity and asking; what is mine to do here? Owning our choice here allows us to not be angry at the other, but to say thank you for playing this role in my life that I can know my strength, my power, my faith, my ability to forgive, to love and/or to feel.
2. To own our responsibility before we leave the situation.
Here is the key – to own it before we leave, walk, slam a door, bolt, say good bye, run away or quit. If not, we leave a situation before we can forgive, be grateful for it, appreciate where it brought us and we miss an ( not THE only) opportunity to heal the wound.
Yes, one can leave and do the work afterwards; but the fact is, The Law will continually bring you into similar situations in order for you to be fully present in the midst of them and to ride the wave through them; into love.
“I once told a friend, I was going to get through my relationship with my mother into love this lifetime, because I was **&^&^ sure I was NOT going to have to do another life with this expereince again!” (I am happy to say we did.)
As others have pointed out, does this mean you want me to stay in an abusive situation just to get the lesson?
No, I want you to understand The Law, make it work FOR you, so you can stand fully present and see what is yours to see, shift what is yours to shift within you, in order to move forward more empowered, more loving and less a victim to your own wounds.
Because I grew into a young mindless adult coming from the home I came from, I married yet another version of my parents. My wound called us forward. It was perfect! It had to get worse, before I grew spiritually enough for it to get better; but it got better than ever! I reached a space in my heart where I am so grateful to the souls who were my parents, for all their addictions, dysfunctions and conditional loving – without them I would not be who I am; and for that I know I am eternally grateful. Forgiveness to myself for choosing such a path! – forgiveness to the souls who were my parents, my first husband; for having had to have them be the people they were, so I could become I who I wanted to be -- gratitude all over the place! Forgiveness and joy!
Can you see how the most challenging of your situations is simply the same exact opportunity over and over again? If you can see this, try this:
1. Vision your soul, a presence of energy.
2. Imagine a spiral going around it, beginning at the (your feet) bottom, heading upwards, a perfect spiral, getting smaller, tighter as it elevates to a peak above your head.
3. The beginning is your birth in this carnation.
4. The peak is your God Realization Union.
5. In the bottom part of the spiral see a situation, experiences and the way you handled them. Watch as the spiral moves upward…..all the time you growing spiritually, becoming more enlightened…..and similar situations happening…..and you moving through them with a bit more ease and grace each time…….
6. Until above the center of the spiral you handle an issue of ego, of love, of illness, of abuse, of victimhood, of addiction; with 100 % responsibility.
7. You will no longer need to have that type, that theme of an experience.
~
I want this sharing to support you know than you know. Every one of you, who has ever been upset with me for saying 100 % responsibility, thank you. Because of you, I am sharing this. My prayer and intention is I know someone is going to benefit from this writing. In my years of spiritual practice, as a seeker, minister, counselor, healer and teacher; I have witnessed hundreds of souls raise themselves from personal pain and restriction through understanding The Law and creating through taking 100 % responsibility for their role in the play of their life.
With big love, Deborah
I cannot change you – I can only change me.
I am not responsible for you – I am 100% responsible for me.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Hello Chaos
(I guide my clients to speak to their wounds, as they are pure energy and a life force unto themselves. This is a prayer-rant that I recently wrote for a beloved. They are to be said outloud, daily, unitl you feel your energetic vibration shift. Perhaps this may support others journeys, so it is being shared.)
Hello chaos. I recognize you. You were what my family of origin used as their experience of motivation – you and all your ‘pure crazy’ got them to move – got them to change – go them to shift – got them to see. Chaos – you belong to them, not me. You are a re-action, not a re-sponse.
I do not choose you. I choose to re-spond to life. I see what you are what you were - I see more fully now how you are. You are in my cellular memory as my re-action to being here, to life – but I no longer choose you. I no longer choose the manic, crazy, chaotic experience of you.
Reaction is a cellular experience.
Response is my choice.
I recognize you Chaos, but I no longer want you. And more importantly I no longer need you. I can see how you have served me, in your appearance of too much, not enough, too hard, too this and not enough of that – but no more. You are born of fear and lack of faith.
YOU, Chaos, who motivated my family and use to be the prime instigator for my life is no longer needed. You, Chaos, have served me well – you created an artist. You helped to create me. But, Good bye. I have found Choice. I like Choice. It is stronger than you, more flexible than you, deeper than you, wider than you, higher than you. It serves me in a more productive way, in a more self loving way. Choice.
To my little girl who grew up in the house on the hill; I love you madly. You are me and now, I want you to know, we no longer choose Chaos. We no longer NEED chaos. We choose to speak up. We no longer have to speak up OVER the chaos or through the chaos. We no longer have to be crazy, or wild, or extreme to be seen or noticed or loved.
We can choose to be crazy, wild and perhaps a bit extreme if we WANT to – but those are part of chaos and now, now my little being and now my grown up woman; We choose to CHOOSE.
I am motivated by love. I am motivated by what feels good to me. I am motivated by what brings me joy. I am motivated by life, laughter, love, kindness and talk. Yes, talk. I have a voice. I speak in order to be seen. I do not have to yell, or scream or use any form of chaos to be heard. I am heard. Clearly and freely and lovingly.
Good bye Chaos
Hello Choice.
Hello chaos. I recognize you. You were what my family of origin used as their experience of motivation – you and all your ‘pure crazy’ got them to move – got them to change – go them to shift – got them to see. Chaos – you belong to them, not me. You are a re-action, not a re-sponse.
I do not choose you. I choose to re-spond to life. I see what you are what you were - I see more fully now how you are. You are in my cellular memory as my re-action to being here, to life – but I no longer choose you. I no longer choose the manic, crazy, chaotic experience of you.
Reaction is a cellular experience.
Response is my choice.
I recognize you Chaos, but I no longer want you. And more importantly I no longer need you. I can see how you have served me, in your appearance of too much, not enough, too hard, too this and not enough of that – but no more. You are born of fear and lack of faith.
YOU, Chaos, who motivated my family and use to be the prime instigator for my life is no longer needed. You, Chaos, have served me well – you created an artist. You helped to create me. But, Good bye. I have found Choice. I like Choice. It is stronger than you, more flexible than you, deeper than you, wider than you, higher than you. It serves me in a more productive way, in a more self loving way. Choice.
To my little girl who grew up in the house on the hill; I love you madly. You are me and now, I want you to know, we no longer choose Chaos. We no longer NEED chaos. We choose to speak up. We no longer have to speak up OVER the chaos or through the chaos. We no longer have to be crazy, or wild, or extreme to be seen or noticed or loved.
We can choose to be crazy, wild and perhaps a bit extreme if we WANT to – but those are part of chaos and now, now my little being and now my grown up woman; We choose to CHOOSE.
I am motivated by love. I am motivated by what feels good to me. I am motivated by what brings me joy. I am motivated by life, laughter, love, kindness and talk. Yes, talk. I have a voice. I speak in order to be seen. I do not have to yell, or scream or use any form of chaos to be heard. I am heard. Clearly and freely and lovingly.
Good bye Chaos
Hello Choice.
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